Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC) - 2006-11-29 (partial)

Channel: malgent

Transcript

Language: English (original, YouTube automatic captions)

[0:02] We now join our programming in progress.

[0:06] >> And you were saying you and I was saying

[0:08] uh one of the nicknames that the kids

[0:10] came up with was uh burnt toast

[0:14] chocolatecovered raisin. How about that?

[0:17] >> What? [laughter] That's what they called

[0:19] you? What the hell is wrong with these

[0:21] kids?

[0:22] >> It's funny. Okay. I'm I'm famous now.

[0:24] It's funny. You know what I'm saying?

[0:26] You know what I'm saying?

[0:28] >> [laughter]

[0:28] >> And what became of now the these were

[0:30] your friends that called you this?

[0:32] >> I don't know. Those were enemies.

[0:32] >> Oh, those were enemies.

[0:35] >> And what became of them?

[0:36] >> Uh, who knows? But uh but I'm doing okay

[0:38] right now.

[0:38] >> They went on. Yeah. There you go, sir.

[0:40] [cheering] Yes, sir. [applause]

[0:44] >> They went on to Blake Kramer on

[0:46] Seinfeld. [laughter]

[0:51] >> Do you um now this show Daybreak, it's

[0:54] tell for those that don't know, I know

[0:56] what it is about. It's really it's it's

[0:58] like the really the worst day of your

[1:00] life

[1:01] >> and you're living it over and over and

[1:03] over again.

[1:03] >> Exactly. Exactly. I I play detective who

[1:06] gets framed for this this murder and if

[1:08] he doesn't uh if he doesn't take the

[1:10] fall uh his girlfriend gets killed and

[1:12] they threaten all the rest of his family

[1:14] members. So, uh he uh it's the wor the

[1:17] worst day of his life. Uh and then he

[1:19] realizes that when he wakes up the next

[1:21] morning, he's stuck in the same day. So

[1:23] each day he has another chance to kind

[1:25] of get closer to why all of this is

[1:28] happening. So So it's not the same day

[1:30] repeating. So if you watch, you're not

[1:31] going to see the exact same show every

[1:33] day. Uh

[1:34] >> that would be something that you guys

[1:36] >> not [laughter]

[1:38] that would not be good.

[1:39] >> And then think about reruns even worse.

[1:43] >> But it but you change it a little bit

[1:45] each time you try.

[1:46] >> Right. I make different choices and and

[1:48] based on the choices that I make,

[1:49] different things happen. So it's it's

[1:51] it's a good show. Yeah, it is a good

[1:52] show. It's interesting and and you don't

[1:55] and unlike like like the movie Groundhog

[1:57] Day was like that as a comedy,

[1:59] >> but you don't like if you get shot or

[2:02] hurt or something, you're not healed the

[2:04] next day.

[2:04] >> It's a cool dynamic. Everybody else kind

[2:06] of starts over, but any uh physical

[2:08] injuries I sustain, you know what I

[2:10] mean? So, it's cool. If I get shot, uh

[2:12] if if I get beat up, I the next morning

[2:14] I have all the bruises. So, it's it's

[2:17] pretty uh I think it's pretty brilliant.

[2:18] >> Well, let's take a look at a clip of the

[2:19] show for those. This is from next week's

[2:21] program. It's called Daybreak. It's here

[2:23] on ABC Wednesday nights at 9:00. Take a

[2:25] look.

[2:25] >> I've seen Rita die three times.

[2:28] [panting]

[2:30] Imagine

[2:32] seeing her executed.

[2:34] Would you want to live through that over

[2:36] and over again?

[2:38] I can't unsee that.

[2:43] And you know what the scariest thing is?

[2:46] I don't know when tomorrow's going to

[2:47] come.

[2:49] What if this day stops repeating? I get

[2:52] caught and she dies and then tomorrow

[2:55] comes

[2:56] and she's gone

[2:59] forever.

[3:01] >> Well, there you go. [cheering]

[3:02] >> Good show.

[3:04] >> Wow. [applause] I like that.

[3:06] [cheering]

[3:06] >> Thanks.

[3:07] >> You um you now work for the ABC Disney

[3:11] Corporation. This is not your first job.

[3:13] I heard that you worked at Disney World

[3:15] in Tokyo.

[3:16] >> I'm never going to live this down, man.

[3:18] Yes, I worked uh I worked at Tokyo

[3:21] Disneyland uh when I was much younger uh

[3:24] at at a a cabaret called Sebastian's

[3:27] Caribbean Carnival. And it was me and I

[3:30] had banana. It's awful. But I had a

[3:32] great time. I had bananas, you know, on

[3:34] my [laughter] on my arms and a straw hat

[3:36] and I sang Deo to a bunch of Japanese

[3:40] fans.

[3:40] >> Really?

[3:42] >> And uh yeah, Minnie Minnie and Mickey

[3:44] Mouse would come out and give me high

[3:46] fives. Was [laughter]

[3:48] it strange being in a foreign country?

[3:50] >> It was a trip. It was of of all the

[3:53] shows that they had, I was the only

[3:55] black man in the entire park.

[3:58] >> Really?

[3:58] >> Entire park. So people would come up to

[4:01] me and think that I was uh Michael

[4:04] Jordan. [laughter]

[4:05] >> And I'm, you know, I'm barely 5'9. So

[4:09] the, you know, these people didn't

[4:10] didn't have much experience.

[4:12] >> And would you I mean, I would go along

[4:13] with it if somebody thought I was

[4:15] Michael Jordan. [laughter] Did you Did

[4:16] you correct him or

[4:17] >> I would have to because it's it's

[4:18] ridiculous. I'm not like like Jordan. I

[4:21] wish I was, but I'm not.

[4:23] >> Really? Wow. That's crazy. That would

[4:24] happen to you frequently, huh?

[4:26] >> Oh, all the time. Cuz I had the shaved

[4:27] head and I you know, we're both dark

[4:29] skin. Whatever. [laughter]

[4:31] >> I don't know, man.

[4:32] >> Do you remember any of um was there a

[4:34] special way you did the song Deo when

[4:36] you were there?

[4:37] >> Yeah. [laughter]

[4:39] >> Lordy, dude.

[4:40] >> Was it a special Japanese Disney version

[4:42] of it?

[4:43] >> [laughter]

[4:44] >> Uh it was there was there was some

[4:46] greeting lordy. Uh mad

[4:51] is kurasai. Then I come out and do a

[4:55] little like a little little jig.

[4:58] [laughter] Raise my hands out.

[5:02] [cheering] Very nicely done. [applause]

[5:04] There you go. Got it. Got it. Got it.

[5:07] >> You know if you if you play your cards

[5:09] right, tao could be your theme song.

[5:13] We'll talk about it after. But Tay

[5:15] Diggs, everybody, his new show is called

[5:16] Day [cheering]

[5:17] Wednesday nights here on ABC. We'll be

[5:19] right back with Terry Gar. [applause]

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[8:51] >> Hello there. We are back. Glass is still

[8:54] to come on the show. Our next guest

[8:55] really is one of the all-time greats.

[8:57] Young Frankenstein, Close Encounters of

[8:58] the Third Kind, Tootsie. She's been many

[9:00] of the best movies of all time. Her new

[9:02] one, Unaccompanied Miners, opens

[9:04] December 8th. And her autobiography,

[9:06] it's right there, called Speed Bumps,

[9:08] Flooring It Through Hollywood, is now

[9:09] available in paperback. Please welcome

[9:11] Terry Gar who's right HERE WITH US.

[9:15] >> [cheering and applause]

[9:16] >> HOW ARE YOU?

[9:17] >> I'M GOOD.

[9:17] >> IT REALLY is a pleasure to have you

[9:19] here. Thank you for being here.

[9:20] >> It's really a [cheering] pleasure to be

[9:21] here.

[9:21] >> How are you? Everything all right?

[9:22] >> I'm good. I'm cool. I'm fine.

[9:24] >> I know you tour around the country. You

[9:25] have MS and um you tour around the

[9:27] country talking about that.

[9:28] >> I call it MFMS. You know, [laughter]

[9:32] we've all seen HBO. You know, we know

[9:33] that. Um

[9:35] >> but um yes, I do. I go around and talk

[9:37] about living with MS and show that it's

[9:39] okay and that you can go on with your

[9:40] life and stuff like that

[9:42] >> because people get worried because

[9:43] people have grown to love you over the

[9:45] years and they're like, "Oh my god, is

[9:46] she going to be I mean, I'll be honest,

[9:48] you know, I was I was a little worried,

[9:50] you know, when you came out because we I

[9:52] think you we want you to be fine.

[9:54] [clears throat] You know, we want

[9:55] everything to be all right."

[9:56] >> I'm fine. I just go on with my life.

[9:58] >> It's actually I hear it's actually kind

[9:59] of fun.

[10:00] >> It's actually kind of fun. Yeah.

[10:01] [laughter]

[10:02] No. Well, I mean, actually, I consider

[10:04] myself lucky because I it's like

[10:06] something that really stopped me from

[10:07] being like a maniac and I had to have my

[10:09] career and all of a sudden I just went,

[10:10] "Oh, wait a minute. I have to now look

[10:11] around and assess my life and uh see

[10:14] appreciate things that I have." And it

[10:16] was it was good. You had to do that

[10:17] every once in a while. Then go back to

[10:19] the [laughter]

[10:21] >> You have worked in this building before.

[10:24] I hear

[10:25] >> years ago. Yeah. They used to have

[10:27] auditions for some show now. I don't

[10:28] remember what it was. And yeah, this

[10:30] whole this is my whole area across the

[10:32] street. used to be a place called the

[10:33] American School of Dance and I used to

[10:35] take the 93 bus out from the valley over

[10:37] there to go to dancing classes cuz you

[10:38] know I was a dancer. Is this very

[10:40] interesting to anybody? It's not for me.

[10:42] [applause]

[10:44] >> Well, it's interesting to me because

[10:46] they told me they built this building

[10:47] new for me and I didn't even know that

[10:49] it was here.

[10:50] >> Lying lying there lies

[10:52] >> and I'm I'll be honest, I'm furious with

[10:53] ABC right now. I'm absolutely livid as I

[10:56] tell you. But you just you started as a

[10:58] dancer and you did you did many many

[11:00] things even before Young Frankenstein

[11:02] was the first big movie that you're in,

[11:04] right? It was the first movie that

[11:06] [applause] you had a big role in.

[11:08] >> You were you're in the Elvis you're in

[11:11] Elvis movies as a a dancer and an actor

[11:14] in that.

[11:15] >> It's just shocking, isn't it? It's just

[11:17] I can't believe I'm that old and

[11:18] [laughter] I and I'm 35. So, how does it

[11:20] work? I don't know.

[11:22] >> You went on the dating game when you

[11:24] when you were a kid. [laughter]

[11:26] Were you the picker or the picky on the

[11:28] dating game?

[11:29] >> I think I was the picker and I Yeah, I

[11:30] was listening to all these people and I

[11:31] picked this guy from the Fuzzy Lumps.

[11:33] Those name of Oh, I don't know.

[11:35] >> Fuzzy Lumps.

[11:36] >> I have no idea. It was some kind of a

[11:37] rock group.

[11:37] >> I think I found one in the shower this

[11:39] morning. [laughter]

[11:41] >> It was a band. Were they a popular band

[11:43] though? No. No one No one ever heard of

[11:45] them. I think we won a trip to Las

[11:46] Vegas. Okay. Now, that's where you grew

[11:48] up, right?

[11:48] >> In Las Vegas. It's my hometown.

[11:49] >> Bizarre. You know, I have a friend. My

[11:51] friend Tony Basel grew up in uh Las

[11:52] Vegas.

[11:53] >> She did the song Mickey. Hey Mickey and

[11:54] so and her father was the band leader at

[11:57] the Sahara and she told me all about

[11:58] what it was like growing up in Las Vegas

[12:00] that all the people your parents were

[12:02] either in the b you know musicians or

[12:05] waiters or or security guards.

[12:07] >> Yeah. Well, my uncle Frank was a

[12:09] security guard in Vegas. My dad Well,

[12:11] actually Cleo, our band leader, and his

[12:13] dad worked as a musician there and as a

[12:15] uh a what? You worked as a butler there

[12:18] at Caesar's Palace.

[12:20] >> Yeah. So, yeah.

[12:20] >> See, that's what they all did. And then

[12:22] her dad married a show girl. That's what

[12:23] happens basically.

[12:25] >> Yeah.

[12:25] >> But what did he worked at? He worked at

[12:27] the Sahara. Did you work at the Sahara?

[12:29] >> At Caesar's Palace.

[12:30] >> Actually, I worked at the Sahara and 65

[12:32] through 70 with a band. Don't

[12:33] >> contradict me.

[12:34] >> I'm sorry. [laughter]

[12:37] I'm going to make it right. [laughter]

[12:39] >> Well, there going to be some changes

[12:41] made. Um,

[12:43] >> I'm sorry I started it.

[12:44] >> Yeah, I'm really sorry that you didn't

[12:46] start it. your your a all this stuff is

[12:47] in you have a very interesting story in

[12:49] this book speed bumps which is now on in

[12:51] paperback and it talks about you talk

[12:54] about all the different movies all the

[12:55] different incredible people that that

[12:57] you've worked with and all these

[12:59] different things that you've experienced

[13:01] what do you think the best movie that

[13:02] you ever did was do you have a favorite

[13:05] of all of them

[13:06] >> was I in Gone with the Wind [laughter]

[13:09] >> I don't think so

[13:10] >> okay it wasn't that then I I don't know

[13:13] they were all I've just been very lucky

[13:14] I had a lot of movies and worked you on

[13:16] a lot of things. And

[13:17] >> you worked at Disneyland.

[13:18] >> I also worked at Disney. I like that Tay

[13:20] Dig story cuz I worked um I was the

[13:22] Statue of Liberty on roller skates at uh

[13:24] Disneyland.

[13:25] >> Really?

[13:26] >> And and and the guy I worked for I think

[13:27] went to Tokyo and he probably hired Taye

[13:29] for that. But um I was supposed to skate

[13:32] down this big ramp on the it's a grand

[13:35] old flag number, you [laughter] know,

[13:37] with this torch in my hand la. So, I'm

[13:41] I'm skating down and we're wearing these

[13:43] body mics, you know, microphones and I

[13:45] skated right off the stage and into the

[13:47] orchestra pit and then I'm I'm talking

[13:50] into my chest with this microphone cuz I

[13:52] don't want anybody, you know, get your

[13:55] hands off swearing. It's reverberating

[13:58] off the matter horn, you know, like, you

[14:00] know, poor old wallet was rolling in

[14:02] this great, oh my god, who's in my park

[14:04] who's just cursing like [laughter] and

[14:06] that was me. And I was also the only

[14:08] black woman in

[14:09] >> Is that right?

[14:12] >> [applause]

[14:14] >> No one ever thought you were Michael

[14:16] Jordan, though, right?

[14:17] >> They didn't think I was Michael Jordan,

[14:18] but they did ask me if I was a

[14:19] communist.

[14:21] >> Who did?

[14:21] >> I don't know. When you worked at

[14:22] Disneyland, you decided you're not a

[14:24] communist.

[14:25] >> Really?

[14:25] >> I lied. So, I [laughter] was a big

[14:27] communist. I was red. Okay.

[14:29] >> They wanted to make sure no communist

[14:31] infiltrated the small world, right?

[14:33] >> The wonderful. [laughter] We had That's

[14:35] right.

[14:35] >> Wow.

[14:36] >> Uh-huh.

[14:36] >> Wow. That's weird. This is a weird

[14:38] company. It really is. Well, you're

[14:40] working for him.

[14:40] >> Yeah, I know. Now, you have this new

[14:42] movie, Unaccompanied Miners, and um it's

[14:45] Yeah, you do. Trust me, I've been

[14:47] briefed completely. Um and this it comes

[14:49] out on December 8th at Wilmer Vorama,

[14:51] who's in the film, was here last night.

[14:53] >> He didn't try to seduce you, did he?

[14:54] Because he does that.

[14:56] >> Who is he?

[14:56] >> You don't know Wilmer?

[14:58] >> Well, I think I've heard of him and he

[14:59] had security guards cuz he's very very

[15:01] famous. Yes.

[15:01] >> But I have no idea who who he is.

[15:03] >> Well, he's in your movie.

[15:05] >> All right. [laughter]

[15:07] >> Here's a clip. I'm guessing he's not in

[15:09] the clip. Um, no, he's not in the

[15:11] [laughter] clip. Here,

[15:12] >> Padet Brewster, isn't it?

[15:13] >> Padet Brewster and Terry Garian

[15:14] unaccompanied minors. Take a look.

[15:17] >> H, I think about defective M&M's. You

[15:19] know, some of these are W's.

[15:21] >> Oh, come on, Val. Lighten up. You know,

[15:24] it's Christmas. I know that you're

[15:25] worried about the kids. They're going to

[15:27] be fine. It's It's Christmas Eve. You

[15:29] know, it's we're going to do more

[15:30] decorating.

[15:30] >> No, no, Judy. You don't have any more

[15:33] decorating to do.

[15:34] >> Yes, I have to finish. I have six more

[15:35] boxes of lights in the garage. This is

[15:37] creepy. You're

[15:39] >> just poisonous, aren't you? Thanks for

[15:41] being such a great sister.

[15:43] >> There you go. [applause]

[15:47] >> You know those people, right? You know

[15:48] both of those people in the [applause]

[15:49] scene.

[15:51] >> You know, yeah, I looked awfully fat and

[15:53] that I'm not that fat.

[15:54] >> No, no, no. You know the camera it puts

[15:57] on like

[15:58] >> and then there's a lot of cameras, so

[16:00] it's like 10 pounds [laughter] each.

[16:02] >> Well, there you go. Terry Gar. You seen

[16:03] her in unaccomparing

[16:06] [cheering and applause]

[16:08] it through Hollywood. Thank you so much

[16:09] for being here. We appreciate it. We'll

[16:11] be right back with Tom Glass. Come on

[16:13] back. [music and applause]

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[17:37] >> So you think Santa will like these red

[17:39] and green M&M's?

[17:40] >> I don't know. I NEVER MET THE GUY.

[17:43] >> He does exist.

[17:45] >> Exist.

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[23:31] Hi there. We're back. Our next guest is

[23:33] one of our very favorites. He is a great

[23:35] star of stage and screen. He almost

[23:37] never disappoints with his incredible

[23:39] talent and striking good looks. Here

[23:41] tonight to fascinate us with his latest

[23:42] adventures in show business, the

[23:44] entertainers entertainer Todd Glass.

[23:46] Everyone

[23:49] [music]

[23:57] [music]

[24:08] >> [music]

[24:11] >> Oh, thank you for being here, Todd. As

[24:12] you can see, they had

[24:14] >> There we go.

[24:16] >> How How are you?

[24:17] >> Pretty good. I just got a kiss from

[24:19] Terry Gar. I say I'm doing pretty good.

[24:20] >> All right. Very good.

[24:21] >> By the way, in all seriousness, I'm

[24:23] sorry to hear about your uncle Frank. I

[24:25] heard he had passed away and I

[24:26] >> No, no, no, no. He's actually right over

[24:27] here.

[24:27] >> Oh, was that him? Oh, he looks great.

[24:28] You look great, Frank. [laughter]

[24:30] >> Huh? Todd, um, correct me if I'm wrong,

[24:33] but you are here tonight to promote a

[24:36] pilot, your tele television show that

[24:39] did not get picked up.

[24:40] >> Yes. Um, I shot a pilot, produced. Adam

[24:43] Sandler put a lot of hard work into it,

[24:45] giving me an opportunity. Wow. That's

[24:47] great. Yeah. the network didn't pick it

[24:49] up and a lot of comedians would, you

[24:50] know, not go any further with it. But I

[24:52] think it's my job to do the talk show

[24:55] circuit, which means you you're the only

[24:56] one that would have me on uh [laughter]

[24:59] >> and promote my failed sitcom.

[25:01] >> Now, is the idea that you will get it if

[25:03] you promote it, then you'll get it on

[25:04] somewhere?

[25:05] >> Honestly, Jimmy, no.

[25:07] >> I don't think it's going to happen, but

[25:08] I want to [laughter]

[25:12] >> I want to give it everything I have.

[25:14] Promote the failed sitcom.

[25:15] >> Well, okay. Yeah, we might as well go

[25:16] through the motions for maybe for the

[25:18] next one. So, tell us about what what we

[25:20] won't be seeing. [laughter]

[25:22] >> What is the show? What would it have

[25:24] been called?

[25:24] >> It's it was called Todd's Coma and

[25:26] basically and I and I'm being serious.

[25:28] Uh it was a a show where I'm in a coma

[25:30] and my family gathers around me and uh

[25:32] people come by and tell stories about

[25:34] me. So, they're like, "Hey, remember

[25:35] that time Todd did this or and then it

[25:37] throws to these either 15-second

[25:38] flashbacks or minute flashbacks." Right

[25:40] now, people are going, "That sounds

[25:41] boring." [snorts]

[25:43] Uh and that was the show Todd's coma.

[25:45] >> I see. So it's a coma. It's a comedy

[25:47] about It's a comedy actually. It's a

[25:48] comedy [laughter] if you think about it.

[25:50] >> Did you try

[25:50] >> that would have sold the networking it

[25:52] as a comedy?

[25:53] >> No, but you know they would love that

[25:54] cuz the network they A COMEDY.

[25:56] >> OH MY GOD, IT'S A HIT. [laughter]

[25:58] >> LET'S BRING THE laughter up a little

[25:59] people.

[26:01] >> I understand you have a clip from u from

[26:03] Todd's coma. Your your comedy.

[26:05] >> Actually do have a clip tonight. I think

[26:07] I'm not positive but I think this clip

[26:10] is [laughter] my I know what the clip

[26:12] is.

[26:12] >> You know what the clip is? trying to act

[26:13] like one, you know, when a big star

[26:14] comes on and maybe their publicist

[26:16] brought the clip over. I know what the

[26:17] clip is. It was in my bedroom and I

[26:18] drove it over here this afternoon.

[26:19] [laughter]

[26:20] Who am I trying to fool with the tuxedo?

[26:22] Please.

[26:24] [laughter] So, the clip I know damn well

[26:26] what the clip is. I've been in the coma

[26:28] for a year and they're celebrating my

[26:29] birthday. And this is actually from an

[26:31] actual show. I kid you not. And uh this

[26:32] is basically explains itself. They're uh

[26:34] they're having a birthday for me in the

[26:36] coma.

[26:36] >> It's a clip from Todd's Coma starring

[26:38] Todd Glass.

[26:40] 3 2 1 surprise. [screaming]

[26:48] [laughter]

[26:51] >> Well, you showed the Sheena look on your

[26:54] face. We got you good.

[26:56] >> Okay, cowboy. Here we go. Just make a

[26:58] wish and blow out those candles.

[27:03] [laughter]

[27:11] >> [applause]

[27:12] >> That that looks pretty funny.

[27:13] >> Funny, right? [cheering]

[27:16] >> And yet that's good stuff.

[27:18] >> And yet we will we will never see the

[27:20] rest of that.

[27:21] >> You will never see that. Matter of fact,

[27:22] I was hoping people didn't enjoy the

[27:24] clip. That way they wouldn't get upset

[27:25] when it never aired. But

[27:26] >> [laughter]

[27:26] >> uh

[27:27] >> Well, that is true. Well, so what would

[27:29] you have done with the money had that

[27:30] show gone on?

[27:32] >> Did you have a plan for

[27:33] >> I had a plan, Jimmy. Uh what I bas I

[27:35] know that you know a lot of uh

[27:38] but you know like you know like

[27:39] celebrities do. No, in all seriousness

[27:41] and I know it sounds a little cheesy um

[27:43] but genuinely I would have probably done

[27:44] something nice for my mom and that's you

[27:46] know actually my mom um I know my mom's

[27:48] here tonight. I just don't know where

[27:50] she can the camera get Oh, there's my

[27:51] mom. My mom is from Philadelphia and

[27:54] she's right over there.

[27:55] >> Oh, there she

[27:56] >> Yeah.

[27:58] Something something happened.

[28:00] >> My actually uh I uh here's the deal. You

[28:03] know, the show didn't I didn't have

[28:05] success with the show. I don't have a

[28:06] lot of money. I'm not I'm not I'm not

[28:07] gonna lie to you. And GMO gave me a

[28:10] place in Mexico that does like

[28:11] upholstery and facelifts and stuff like

[28:13] that. And um

[28:15] >> is that right?

[28:16] >> GMO turn. Sure, why not? And uh so she

[28:19] got a botched up facelift. And Mom, I I

[28:22] know. I feel so bad. Mom, seriously.

[28:24] Mom. Mom, I love you so much. I do. I

[28:27] love you so much.

[28:28] >> What What happened?

[28:31] >> Oh, Jimmy. What what I do to have a son

[28:33] like you

[28:34] >> with that beautiful smile, those those

[28:37] cheekbones.

[28:37] >> Oh, thank you.

[28:38] >> Money coming out of your ass to buy all

[28:40] that like you.

[28:42] >> Yeah. Oh my god.

[28:43] >> Well, that's not what it I mean, that's

[28:44] not what it's all about.

[28:45] >> It's not all about that. I've never even

[28:47] seen her like this. I'm not even kidding

[28:48] you, Mom. You know what? I'm I'm not

[28:50] joking around. I still love you so much.

[28:52] >> I love you, too. You make me sick.

[28:53] [laughter]

[28:55] >> That's kind of sweet. That's kind of

[28:56] sweet.

[28:56] >> She's She's a nice woman. I She lives in

[28:58] a dog house behind my house.

[28:59] >> Oh, that's nice. No, I made that up.

[29:02] Anyway,

[29:03] >> yeah, I understand you have a song for

[29:05] us tonight. Is that true, Todd?

[29:06] >> You know,

[29:07] >> is that [cheering] I hope that is true

[29:10] because [applause]

[29:11] >> we're almost out of time.

[29:12] >> I know. Okay, so yeah, Jimmy, I would uh

[29:15] have a microphone. I happen to have a

[29:16] microphone. What the What the heck? Um

[29:19] I'd like I really do appreciate you

[29:20] having me on.

[29:21] >> Where was that microphone?

[29:22] >> But I was up my tuck. Anyway, [laughter]

[29:24] I'm all of a sudden I'm an 80-year-old

[29:26] Jew. So, but Jimmy, yes. I like to say

[29:30] this. You're a real swell guy with lots

[29:33] of cash in the bank. Hell, you get to

[29:36] work with family members like your uncle

[29:38] Frank. Hi, Frank. You've got adoring

[29:42] fans that

[29:45] Hey, they love everything you do.

[29:49] You know what, Jimmy? [applause]

[29:51] Sometimes I think I wish I was you.

[29:57] You've got a beautiful You've got

[30:00] beautiful eyes and you've got an angel's

[30:03] face. Hey, Jimmy, when you smile, it

[30:06] lights up this place.

[30:09] You've got your own backup band. And you

[30:12] got the world's greatest crew. Hey,

[30:16] Jimmy.

[30:18] Sometimes I think I wish I was you. Take

[30:21] it away, guys. But my wish is not based

[30:27] I'm looking at the Q cards. MY MY WISH

[30:30] IS NOT BASED ON your job or your grin.

[30:34] But if I was you, Jimmy Kimmel. IF I WAS

[30:38] YOU, JIMMY KIMMEL, my mom would never

[30:41] have to have a botched up faceelift

[30:44] again.

[30:47] Yeah.

[30:49] You ungrateful [music]

[30:52] Wow. Hot blast, everybody. [applause]

[30:55] Hot blast. We'll be right back.

[30:58] [screaming]

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