The Late Show with David Letterman (CBS) - 2006-11-17

Channel: malgent

Transcript

Language: English (original, YouTube automatic captions)

[0:01] The really weird laws that are still on

[0:02] the books. Coin News 6 Monday at 6.

[0:08] >> Cold case. CBS Sundays

[0:12] >> from New York, the greatest city in the

[0:16] world. It's [music] the late show with

[0:19] David Letterman.

[0:22] [music] Tonight, Senator John Edwards

[0:26] will [music] an impression as we closes

[0:29] with Kevin POLLOCK

[0:33] Schaffer and the sh orchestra.

[0:37] [music]

[0:38] And now, a man universally known as the

[0:42] monkey whisperer,

[0:45] Dave

[0:48] Herman,

[0:50] man.

[0:51] >> [music]

[1:08] >> Thank you very much. Okay. Thank you,

[1:10] ladies and gentlemen.

[1:12] Thank you.

[1:15] Here's [music]

[1:17] [applause]

[1:19] uh here's exciting news from Hollywood.

[1:21] Tomorrow Tom Cruz and Katie Holmes are

[1:24] getting married. How about that?

[1:27] Very nice. [music]

[1:29] [applause]

[1:30] I understand they've written their own

[1:31] vows and Katie's vow is to never wear

[1:34] high heels with Tom.

[1:38] That's nice.

[1:40] >> [applause]

[1:42] >> Uh, by the way, if you want to get the

[1:43] kids a gift, Tom and Katie are

[1:45] registered at Bed Bath and Way Beyond.

[1:49] [applause]

[1:51] There you go.

[1:55] Have you folks seen the new James Bond

[1:57] movie, Casino Royale?

[2:00] >> You know, the uh the new James Bond is a

[2:01] guy named Daniel Craig. Daniel Craig. I

[2:06] >> I wonder if they even looked at my

[2:07] audition tape.

[2:11] >> [applause]

[2:16] [applause]

[2:18] >> But you know Daniel Craig is the sixth

[2:20] James Bond. Six James Bond. There have

[2:23] been six James. Coincidentally, there

[2:24] have been four Regises. Did you know

[2:27] that?

[2:28] [applause]

[2:35] Happy birthday today to Mickey Mouse.

[2:38] Mickey is 78 years old. Happy birthday.

[2:42] [applause]

[2:44] He um

[2:47] Mickey lives in Laguna Beach with his

[2:49] longtime companion Mighty Mouse.

[2:52] >> And

[3:01] they're very happy.

[3:05] By the way, it's also Larry King's

[3:06] birthday. Happy birthday to Larry King.

[3:08] [applause]

[3:13] Larry King celebrated quietly with a few

[3:16] wives.

[3:18] And I I I couldn't be happier that Larry

[3:20] King is 73 years old. Uh because being

[3:24] 73 years old, it keeps me from being the

[3:26] oldest dad. So

[3:29] what did I do to that one? [applause]

[3:31] Go back to

[3:35] world's oldest dad. Thank you very much.

[3:38] Uh oh, video game fans, do you like the

[3:41] video games? WHOA.

[3:43] [applause]

[3:45] WELL, guess what? Sony's PlayStation 3

[3:47] came out today. Yep. [applause]

[3:51] >> That's right.

[3:53] Finally, some good news for George Bush.

[3:58] [applause]

[4:12] >> [music]

[4:17] >> Thank you so much, Paul Shaker.

[4:24] >> [applause]

[4:26] >> the um

[4:28] let me um tell you oh first of all uh

[4:31] tonight is the last night of

[4:32] Impressionist week and what a tremendous

[4:35] success this has been every night here

[4:37] in the Ed Sullivan Theater a wonderful

[4:39] Impressionist [applause]

[4:41] [music]

[4:44] [applause]

[4:46] >> and uh and tonight Kevin Pollock who is

[4:49] a tremendous impressionist I love it.

[4:51] [applause]

[4:52] >> And so much more.

[4:55] He's a uh he's a fine comedian and a

[4:57] very talented actor. Kevin Pollock is

[4:59] anchoring Impressionist week for us here

[5:01] tonight. And and like I say, what a

[5:03] tremendous event this has been. I can't

[5:04] go anywhere in this town without people

[5:07] saying to me, "Hey, how about that

[5:09] impressionist week?"

[5:13] Well, [applause]

[5:15] >> it's better than nothing.

[5:18] >> There's something weird in here. And I

[5:19] think maybe it's my fault. Usually

[5:21] there's so many variables when you do a

[5:23] show like this. The list of variables

[5:24] infinite. The amount of things that can

[5:26] go wrong any given night. Endless. You

[5:29] just you just never know. And I think

[5:30] tonight I have to blame myself.

[5:33] >> Really?

[5:33] >> Well, here's what happened. I got into a

[5:35] fight with a woman from Michigan.

[5:36] >> Yeah.

[5:38] >> And [cheering] Yeah.

[5:44] Actually, [applause]

[5:50] she was from Wisconsin. And that that's

[5:52] where the fight began.

[5:53] >> Exactly.

[5:55] >> Because I started grilling the woman

[5:57] about the upper peninsula of Michigan,

[5:58] which in fact doesn't seem to share any

[6:01] common land mass with the state of

[6:02] Michigan whatsoever.

[6:03] >> I believe it does.

[6:04] >> Yeah. But is connected to the state of

[6:05] Wisconsin. And I got I got angrier and

[6:08] angrier and angrier.

[6:10] And the next thing I know, she had her

[6:12] foot up in the air.

[6:17] [applause]

[6:18] There she is.

[6:21] How she did it. And then everything

[6:24] [applause]

[6:26] and everything after that is a a blur.

[6:28] >> Blur. Yeah. Wait a minute. I remember

[6:30] there's some people from Door County,

[6:32] Wisconsin. And I remember throwing them

[6:34] out.

[6:37] That's all I remember. [applause]

[6:43] Here's who's on the program. Former

[6:45] United States Senator John Edwards is on

[6:48] the show. He's the editor of this book,

[6:51] Blueprints of Our Lives. [applause]

[6:54] And uh what he's done, he's got a lot of

[6:56] Americans and they tell story about

[6:58] living in America and about their lives.

[7:00] And they put together this compilation

[7:02] and its blueprints of our lives. And I

[7:04] believe that's the former senator right

[7:05] there on the cover. I'll clarify that

[7:07] when he comes up, but I believe that's

[7:08] him. All kinds of people with all kinds

[7:11] of story from every walk of life, and

[7:12] they have stories about their lives, and

[7:14] it's in the book right here.

[7:15] >> Oh, lovely.

[7:16] >> Yeah.

[7:17] >> Yes.

[7:18] That'll be a

[7:21] He's a good-looking chap, John Edwards.

[7:23] Very

[7:24] >> good. Don't kid yourself. He's Yes, he

[7:26] is. He's good-look. Uh also,

[7:29] >> uh a very funny gentleman. You probably

[7:31] remember him from the uh the show uh

[7:33] Desperate Enthusiasm. What's the name of

[7:35] the show?

[7:36] >> Desperate Enthusiast.

[7:37] >> Rested Arrested Development. Yes.

[7:39] >> Oh, Arrested. Oh, that's a different

[7:40] story.

[7:42] >> The closest I could come was Desperate

[7:43] Enthusiasm.

[7:46] >> That's [laughter] That's what I show

[7:47] every night.

[7:48] >> Yeah, I know.

[7:50] >> Hey, wait a minute. I heard that. I

[7:52] heard you say

[7:53] >> right there. He's sitting right there.

[7:56] >> Will Arnett

[7:59] is in a brand new motion picture. here.

[8:00] It's called Let's Go to Prison.

[8:02] >> Well, that's that sounds like a lot of

[8:04] fun.

[8:04] >> It opened today, ladies and gentlemen.

[8:06] There you go.

[8:07] >> Okay.

[8:07] >> Uh I got my subscription of Time

[8:10] magazine and they de devote the whole

[8:12] thing here to uh inventions and they

[8:15] have the best inventions of 2006. What a

[8:17] tremendous I don't know. Maybe they do

[8:18] this every year, but I opened it up. You

[8:20] have any idea what the best invention of

[8:22] 2006

[8:23] >> of this last uh year?

[8:24] >> What it says 2006?

[8:26] >> I don't know. Is it anything to do with

[8:28] eyeshadow? No.

[8:33] No.

[8:33] >> Okay. Well, then I have no idea.

[8:36] >> I don't know.

[8:37] >> You thought maybe it would be something

[8:38] to do with eye shadow.

[8:39] >> It's not that. That would have been a

[8:40] good invention.

[8:41] >> No. Well, it's not. No. Cuz look at

[8:42] this. There's a YouTube. It's the

[8:44] YouTube right there. Oh,

[8:45] >> that's the invention.

[8:45] >> Well, that is a crazy invention.

[8:47] >> It is. Now, you know what the least

[8:48] impressive invention is?

[8:50] >> No.

[8:50] >> They got it right here also.

[8:51] >> What's that?

[8:52] >> I was surprised. I agree with them, but

[8:53] I was surprised. The raccoon briefcase.

[8:59] [applause] Other words, a briefcase for

[9:00] a raccoon to to use.

[9:05] I was surprised. Yeah. I got to say

[9:07] something now that I probably shouldn't

[9:09] say, but I'm just going to say it

[9:10] because I saw that raccoon and it made

[9:11] me think of this, so I'm going to say

[9:12] it.

[9:13] >> And maybe you people have had the same

[9:15] experience. And I don't know if it's

[9:16] getting worse. I think it's getting

[9:17] worse. At least it's getting worse for

[9:18] me.

[9:18] >> Oh.

[9:19] >> I'm I'm driving home late at night and

[9:21] and and often I'm the only motorist on

[9:23] the road.

[9:24] >> Yeah.

[9:24] >> And sometimes it's foggy, sometimes it's

[9:26] rainy, sometimes it's crystal clear.

[9:28] >> Mhm.

[9:35] >> [applause]

[9:39] >> And I can't even tell you.

[9:41] >> No, no, no, I can't because

[9:42] >> you can't go this far without finishing

[9:44] it.

[9:45] >> Let me just preface this. I'm I'm I'm

[9:46] I'm telling you this to kind of purge

[9:49] myself of of bad, terrible, evil

[9:52] feelings of guilt.

[9:52] >> Guilt. All right. It seems like more

[9:54] often than not now

[9:57] I have I have I have Come on. Come on.

[10:02] You'll feel better.

[10:04] Come on.

[10:04] >> There's just there's a lot of raccoons

[10:06] out there.

[10:09] [applause and cheering] That's as far as

[10:10] I can go.

[10:10] >> You're noticing that there's a lot of

[10:11] raccoons. Not not as many as there were

[10:13] at the beginning,

[10:16] but [applause]

[10:20] [applause]

[10:22] I mean I mean I mean what can you do?

[10:24] >> So you just really accelerate and run

[10:26] them over. I don't

[10:27] >> Is that what you do?

[10:28] >> No.

[10:29] >> Is that what you're trying to say?

[10:30] >> No, I'm not. And I'm feeling I feel

[10:31] horrible about it. I feel horrible about

[10:33] it. I just saw that. I wonder if the the

[10:35] briefcase has anything to do with that.

[10:38] >> Maybe they're slower because they're got

[10:40] the briefcase.

[10:41] >> Okay. Sure.

[10:43] Uh you you know Kirsty Alli, remember

[10:45] Kirsty Ali? This woman was a tremendous

[10:48] she was still still a fine actor and

[10:49] then she she had some problems and she

[10:51] started eating and she had some donuts

[10:52] and she would have some cookies

[10:55] and they they uh [laughter]

[10:58] they weighed her they finally got her to

[10:59] a scale and she weighed 600 lb.

[11:01] >> Yeah.

[11:03] >> 600 lb.

[11:06] >> And and when this happened she said,

[11:08] "Well, I've got a problem."

[11:09] >> Yeah.

[11:11] She started losing weight and she made a

[11:12] vow with Oprah. She said, "When I lose

[11:14] my weight, I'm going to come on your

[11:15] show in a bikini."

[11:16] >> Yes.

[11:17] >> And And who among us thought that would

[11:18] happen?

[11:19] >> I never thought it.

[11:20] >> Well, it finally happened. It happened.

[11:21] Take a look. Here's Christy Ali on the

[11:23] Oprah Winfrey show. [music]

[11:26] [cheering]

[11:28] [applause]

[11:44] >> [music]

[11:46] >> So, but you got to give her got to give

[11:48] her credit for going out there and

[11:50] giving it a shot. Huh.

[11:51] >> She looked great.

[11:52] >> She did look great.

[11:53] >> Some of the women seemed shocked. I

[11:55] >> did, didn't they?

[11:56] >> I don't know why.

[11:57] >> Envious. Envious, I believe.

[11:58] >> I am sure. [laughter]

[12:00] >> And now it's time for great moments in

[12:02] presidential speeches. So here we go.

[12:04] [applause]

[12:05] [music]

[12:10] That the only thing we have to fear is

[12:14] fear itself.

[12:17] >> Ask not what your country can do for

[12:20] you. Ask what you can do for your

[12:24] country.

[12:25] >> Anybody here got uh four kids? Three

[12:27] kids. You got four? Four. Three. Okay.

[12:33] All right. Wait.

[12:37] I don't know why I asked that.

[12:40] Oh, I know. I asked it.

[12:45] [applause]

[12:48] And now

[12:50] [applause]

[12:52] we've started doing this uh on Friday

[12:54] nights and and I have here uh Paul's got

[12:56] a friend who works in Washington at the

[12:58] Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous

[12:59] Information and and they collect a

[13:02] fascinating variety of of things and and

[13:05] he calls them fun facts and he sends

[13:07] them up to us each Friday and we share

[13:08] them with you folks at home. Paul, how

[13:09] about a little music here for fun facts?

[13:18] Thank you very much. [applause]

[13:22] Used to be

[13:24] >> It used to be when you were driving

[13:25] around the deer would be a problem.

[13:27] >> Yeah.

[13:29] >> You know, a raccoon out at night is

[13:30] perfectly natural. They're allowed to

[13:32] come out.

[13:32] >> They're nocturnal.

[13:33] >> Yeah, they're not. Yeah.

[13:34] >> No, I'm not saying they're doing

[13:35] something illegal.

[13:36] >> You see one in the daytime.

[13:37] >> I'm not calling for a curfew. Oh, I know

[13:39] where you're getting at. See them in the

[13:40] daytime.

[13:40] >> They're rabid. Yeah, they're rabid.

[13:42] Yeah. At night, you really they're

[13:44] they're fine.

[13:44] >> Oh, that's right.

[13:45] >> Yeah.

[13:46] >> Well,

[13:46] >> they have every right to be. That's

[13:48] right.

[13:48] >> You know, wherever they want to be.

[13:49] >> Well, maybe not in my lane of the

[13:51] highway.

[13:52] >> All right.

[13:53] >> Well, they certainly know that now.

[13:55] >> Well, not really spreading the word,

[13:57] though, are they?

[14:00] >> Well, how many actually how many have

[14:02] you hit?

[14:03] >> I I didn't even say that I'd hit any.

[14:04] >> No, you did. But if you had,

[14:06] hypothetically speaking,

[14:10] >> double digits.

[14:14] I mean, do I need a license for that? I

[14:15] mean,

[14:18] uh, okay, here's some fun facts. Uh, the

[14:20] Earth travels through space at 666,000

[14:23] mph. 666,000 mph. That's the Earth

[14:27] traveling through space as it orbits the

[14:29] sun. That's amazing, isn't it?

[14:30] >> Yes, it is.

[14:31] >> It's a wonder you can keep your hat on.

[14:35] >> Uh, apples are actually part of the rose

[14:37] family. Didn't know that. Most car horns

[14:40] honk in the key of F. You probably knew

[14:41] that as a musician. Did you know that?

[14:43] >> I did not know. Well, now I'm going to

[14:44] audition for it now.

[14:45] >> There is no medical difference between

[14:47] being clean and being zestfully clean.

[14:52] Uh, despite Mother Teresa's charitable

[14:54] spirit, on Halloween, she turned off the

[14:56] lights and pretended not to be home.

[14:59] >> I don't know how they know that.

[15:02] >> On Orville Wright's second flight, he

[15:04] towed a banner for Copper Tone.

[15:08] >> He didn't waste any time on that guy.

[15:09] >> No.

[15:11] Richard Nixon wore a neck tie to bed.

[15:16] >> Yeah, but where though? Huh?

[15:18] >> Where is

[15:20] >> where?

[15:21] >> Yeah. Where did he wear it? You know,

[15:22] around his

[15:24] >> I think in the White House.

[15:26] >> His ankle. Oh, the White House.

[15:27] >> Yeah. White House. [applause]

[15:32] >> Uh for a donation, the CDC Centers for

[15:34] Disease Control will name a disease

[15:36] after you.

[15:37] >> Ah.

[15:39] Uh, the manufacturer of Q-tips warns

[15:41] they should not be used for any purpose

[15:43] whatsoever.

[15:47] [laughter]

[15:48] >> That makes sense.

[15:48] >> I think that makes sense.

[15:50] >> Yeah. President James K. Pul's middle

[15:52] name was Kanye. Kanye.

[15:55] >> Kanye. Kanye.

[15:57] >> Kanye. 22% of grooms secretly try on

[16:00] their bride's wedding gown.

[16:03] Secretly try on their brides.

[16:07] Uh Nancy Reagan can palm a basketball. H

[16:11] still

[16:13] >> I don't know what this says. I just read

[16:15] them, Paul. I don't I don't research

[16:16] him. I just read.

[16:17] >> Oh, okay. Yeah.

[16:19] >> There is a Tim Russard sex tape.

[16:24] That's a f fact that's not necessarily

[16:26] fun at all [laughter]

[16:30] >> to me.

[16:31] >> Uh there are only three documented cases

[16:33] of people juggling in their sleep.

[16:35] >> [laughter]

[16:36] >> Albert Einstein's proudest achievement.

[16:38] He once bowled a 230. Ah,

[16:42] our tallest president, Wilt Chamberlain.

[16:49] Mel Gibson once reluctantly admitted

[16:50] that he enjoys Hebrew National Hot dogs.

[16:57] >> Well, go back to Door County. Exactly.

[17:01] [applause]

[17:02] Listen

[17:07] [applause]

[17:08] to this. Due to a horse shortage, the

[17:11] 1936 Kentucky Derby was run with

[17:14] giraffes.

[17:18] >> There's a county in Indiana that doesn't

[17:19] observe February.

[17:22] MV Griffin briefly produced a game show

[17:25] in the mid60s called You Bet Your

[17:27] Underpants.

[17:29] [laughter]

[17:33] >> I think I saw that. Did you ever see

[17:34] that?

[17:34] >> Really? No. I I think I [laughter] saw

[17:36] that game.

[17:36] >> Good. Yeah, I like that. And finally,

[17:38] Geico can also save you money on a

[17:40] How about that?

[17:45] [music]

[17:50] That's right. Thank you very much, Paul.

[17:52] Former United States Senator John

[17:53] Edwards, Will Arnett, and Kevin Pollock

[17:56] for Impressionist Week. We'll be right

[17:57] back, everybody.

[18:02] [music]

[18:05] >> Y'all ready to order?

[18:11] >> Hey, 253 straight days at the gym to get

[18:14] this body. And you're not going to watch

[18:15] me on Direct TV HD. You're just not

[18:18] going to get the best picture out of

[18:19] some fancy big screen TV without Direct

[18:21] TV. It's broadcast in 1080i.

[18:25] I totally don't know what that means,

[18:26] but I want it. For picture quality that

[18:29] beats cable, you've got to get Direct

[18:31] TV.

[18:55] All power with no shift shock.

[18:59] The [music] next Nissan Maxima with CBT,

[19:02] part of the next generation of Nissan

[19:04] thinking.

[19:05] >> So, despite the positive sales indicated

[19:07] here, you should have all got the memo.

[19:10] >> Is there something you want to share

[19:11] with us?

[19:16] >> The taste you love [music] anywhere you

[19:18] go. Campbell's microwavable soup.

[19:21] [bell]

[19:39] >> [music]

[19:39] >> The new model year is off to a great

[19:41] start at the Jeep premiere event. The

[19:43] new four-door Wrangler Unlimited just

[19:45] arrived alongside the allnew Jeep

[19:47] Compass. [music] They join Liberty with

[19:49] the government's highest sight crash

[19:50] test rating. Jeep Commander with three

[19:53] rows of seating and Grand [music]

[19:54] Cherokee, part of the most award-winning

[19:56] brand of 4x4s. Well qualified buyers get

[19:58] 0% financing [music] for 60 months or

[20:00] cash allowances of $5,500 on 06

[20:03] Commander and Grand Cherokee. See

[20:05] Commander, [music] Grand Cherokee, and

[20:06] much more at the Jeep Premiere event.

[20:10] >> It's Southwest Washington's holiday food

[20:12] and gift festival this Friday through

[20:13] Sunday at the Clark County Fairgrounds.

[20:16] Holiday gifts, decorations, arts and

[20:17] crafts, gourmet food tasting. It all

[20:19] happens this Friday through Sunday at

[20:21] the Clark County [music] Fairgrounds.

[20:22] You'll love it.

[20:24] >> Want a Harley? At Team Latest Motors

[20:26] Harley-Davidson. They're the Northwest's

[20:27] largest MSRP dealer and home of the low

[20:30] price guarantee. The biggest selection,

[20:32] [music] the lowest prices. Nobody but

[20:33] nobody beats Team Latest Motors. Just

[20:35] off I 205 and X811 under the giant

[20:38] American flag.

[20:40] I've owned a couple Toyotas and they're

[20:42] good at a lot of things, but you know

[20:44] the one thing they've never done?

[20:46] Disappoint me. Take the [music] Toyota

[20:48] Tacoma. It's famous for being almost

[20:51] indestructible. It's the number one

[20:53] selling compact truck in America. And

[20:55] now [music] get 4.9% APR financing for

[20:58] 60 months on Tacoma. A great deal on a

[21:01] truck that never lets you down. It's

[21:02] easy to be loyal to a brand that returns

[21:04] the favor. Toyota, a smart way to keep

[21:07] moving forward.

[21:12] >> [music]

[21:16] >> Thank you very much, Paul.

[21:18] [applause]

[21:19] Here is the category. Oh, did I open the

[21:21] thing?

[21:22] >> That's not open.

[21:22] >> Oh, let's open the top 10 list.

[21:34] >> [music]

[21:36] >> The uh category, top 10 signs you're

[21:38] watching a bad James Bond movie. Now,

[21:39] the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale,

[21:41] opened today. Opened today starring

[21:43] Daniel Craig. He was on the show last

[21:45] week. Seemed like a nice guy.

[21:46] >> Oh, yeah.

[21:47] >> Yeah. Uh top 10 signs now that you're

[21:49] watching a bad

[21:50] >> I'm sure this one is fine. His fine.

[21:52] >> A great one. Yeah.

[21:53] >> Uh the cat has signs you're watching a

[21:54] bad James Bond movie. Here we go. Number

[21:56] 10 asks everyone to call him Jimbo.

[21:58] Number nine, the villain's private layer

[22:00] is the corner booth at a pizzeria uno.

[22:03] [clears throat] Number eight, it's set

[22:05] backstage at Saturday Night Live. Number

[22:06] seven, the Aston Martin won't start, so

[22:09] Bond drives a 95 Ford Focus.

[22:12] Number six, it's about Dr. No's more

[22:14] evil brother, Dr. Phil.

[22:17] Number five, most impressive gadget, a

[22:19] clock that's also a radio. Number four,

[22:22] Bond's new catchphrase, get her done.

[22:25] Get her done. [applause]

[22:27] Number three, Goodbye License to Kill.

[22:29] Hello, License to Inspect Meat. Number

[22:30] two, soundtrack by Kevin Federline. And

[22:35] [cheering] number one sign you're

[22:36] watching a bad James Bond movie. Halfway

[22:38] into the film, James Bond is shot in the

[22:39] face by Dick Cheney. Whoa, look. [music]

[22:50] >> Who's watching a bad James Bond movie?

[22:55] >> Oh, that's right.

[22:56] Exactly. Uh,

[23:00] our first guest is an accomplished actor

[23:02] and comedian, and he will next be seen

[23:04] in the Sci-Fi Channel movie, The Lost

[23:06] Room. Please welcome to the final night

[23:08] of Impressionist Week, the very talented

[23:10] Kevin Pollock. Ladies and gentlemen,

[23:15] [music]

[23:21] thank you. Thank [cheering] you. Please,

[23:24] [applause]

[23:25] please be seated. It's nice

[23:28] [laughter] to be here for Impressionist

[23:31] week. It's always great to do the late

[23:32] show, see Paul, the great band, and uh

[23:34] Danny, this is uh

[23:38] I'm sorry, [applause] Dave. Right.

[23:41] Sorry. Just seems like a Danny to me. Um

[23:45] [laughter]

[23:46] no, I actually a lot of people may not

[23:48] know I started out as a comedian

[23:49] impressionist. And um what's weird

[23:51] though now of course I was lucky enough

[23:53] to eventually go on and do a few movies

[23:55] uh several actually I don't know exactly

[23:57] how many 54 the number

[24:01] the number is not important of course uh

[24:03] what is is that I've now worked with a

[24:05] lot of the actors that I've been

[24:06] impersonating in my standup all these

[24:08] years I mean William Shatner certainly

[24:10] comes to mind now there's two Shatters

[24:12] now there's the Boston legal Shatner uh

[24:15] Denny Graham and then there's the Star

[24:17] Trek series Spock he's got Reagan

[24:21] [laughter]

[24:23] and although

[24:26] uh I mean a few years ago I did this

[24:28] movie called Indian Summer. Thank you

[24:29] both for seeing it. And I got to

[24:31] [laughter]

[24:33] I got to work with Alan Arin, one of my

[24:36] favorites. He and Peter Faulk did the

[24:37] movie The in-laws. So I was a huge fan.

[24:39] The first day I met him, I went up as

[24:41] Peter P. Allan, you look fabulous.

[24:44] [cheering]

[24:45] [applause]

[24:53] have you lost weight cuz you look

[24:55] terrific.

[24:57] And he said, "Oh my god, that's

[24:59] unbelievable."

[25:00] [laughter] Now, somebody told me you do

[25:02] me. Is that right?

[25:06] And I said, "No, no, no. I can't do

[25:08] you." Wait a second. Is that me?

[25:11] That's not funny.

[25:14] Now, I'd like to have a little fun. So,

[25:15] a year later, I called him at home. I

[25:17] got his phone answering machine, and

[25:19] this is the message I left on Arkin's

[25:20] machine. Dude, um, message to myself.

[25:27] I know there was something.

[25:30] Oh, yes, yes, yes. Get some dog food for

[25:32] Jesse. That's it. Two days later, I get

[25:35] this message on my machine. Hi, Kevin.

[25:36] It's Allan. You know what?

[25:38] [laughter and gasps] That's not funny.

[25:41] [applause]

[25:42] No.

[25:50] cuz there was about nine minutes there

[25:51] where I did not remember leaving that

[25:53] message.

[25:56] Uh but now my favorite of course is

[25:58] Christopher Walkin. I uh yes, [applause]

[26:04] I had fun with him a couple of weeks

[26:05] ago. Of course, Halloween. I don't dress

[26:07] up for the parties. It's really to scare

[26:08] the kids who come to the door to get the

[26:10] candy. So this year they got Christopher

[26:13] Walkin.

[26:15] Hi

[26:18] Trick or Train.

[26:27] That's a damn good question.

[26:31] Trick, treat. Quite the conundrum.

[26:35] Having said that, my young costumed

[26:38] friends,

[26:40] as fate would have it, I too have a

[26:43] question.

[26:45] Which one of you little kids can guess

[26:47] what I've buried under my house?

[26:52] Hey kids. [applause]

[26:57] [applause]

[27:00] Well, he's just he's just so perfectly

[27:02] odd to me, you know? Like you try to

[27:04] have a conversation with him, it seems

[27:06] like all of his thoughts are completely

[27:07] disconnected, you know? Hey, Chris,

[27:09] how's it going? I haven't seen you while

[27:10] Frankenstein never scared me.

[27:18] [applause]

[27:20] Really?

[27:21] massupials do

[27:25] because they're fast

[27:28] and they do it. That's crazy.

[27:31] I recently met uh Christopher Walkin.

[27:34] Very strange. Coming out of a party in

[27:35] Los Angeles and there at the end of the

[27:37] driveway standing alone looking a little

[27:39] lost was Christopher Walkin. And I said,

[27:41] "Uh, Chris, is everything okay?"

[27:43] Stranded.

[27:46] I've been searching for an hour for the

[27:48] bastards THAT BROUGHT ME

[27:53] IT'S CLEAR TO ME NOW THAT GO ON.

[27:56] >> So I, [applause]

[28:05] you know, I I offered him a ride and he

[28:07] accepted. So we're going to my car and I

[28:09] remember that I had a break-in recently.

[28:11] So I had a new alarm installed and it

[28:12] came with a button you push and it

[28:14] starts the car before you get in. So as

[28:16] we're approaching the car, I thought

[28:17] this could be fun.

[28:19] So, we're just a few feet away from the

[28:20] car and I start the car and he goes,

[28:22] "WOW.

[28:25] Your car is alive.

[28:28] Chase me."

[28:34] [music]

[28:37] Hey, Kevin. How are you? I'm fine, THANK

[28:41] YOU. KEVIN POLLOCK, LADIES AND

[28:43] GENTLEMEN, great to have you with us,

[28:44] sir. Thank you VERY MUCH, KEVIN POLLOCK.

[28:47] We'll be right back with John Evans,

[28:48] everybody. [music]

[28:51] [applause]

[28:57] [music]

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[29:51] >> What did we just order?

[29:55] >> He's a small town mayor making a big

[29:57] move to get illegal immigrants out of

[29:59] town. Plus, Broadway Joe Neoth in the

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[31:31] >> The Whey Weird Laws that are still on

[31:33] the books. Coin News 6 Monday at 6.

[31:43] >> Thank you very much, Kevin Pollock.

[31:46] Great. [applause]

[31:49] For six years, our next guest served as

[31:51] a senator, a senator from the great

[31:53] state of North Carolina. He has also

[31:55] edited this new book entitled Home: The

[31:58] Blueprints of Our Lives. Please welcome

[32:00] Senator John Edwards. Senator

[32:03] >> [music]

[32:07] [applause]

[32:10] [music]

[32:16] [music]

[32:18] >> Welcome back to the show.

[32:19] >> Thank you.

[32:20] >> How things been going? All right.

[32:21] >> Things are going well. Yeah.

[32:22] >> What uh tell us uh what you feel uh

[32:24] what's the impression, your perspective

[32:25] of the midterm elections? What is the

[32:27] fallout, the ups and the downs of that?

[32:30] >> Good.

[32:30] >> Yeah. All good. Uh, I think that,

[32:34] [applause]

[32:35] you know what I what I think is the the

[32:37] war was in I mean the the election was

[32:39] in many ways a referendum on the war and

[32:41] the way the war was being conducted and

[32:43] I think the voters have spoken and

[32:45] hopefully we'll see some change in in

[32:46] direction in Iraq,

[32:47] >> right? And and and uh what is the

[32:49] likelihood of that and what might it be?

[32:51] I mean, what really can be done now?

[32:53] >> Well, we I think we have to make it

[32:54] clear we're going to leave Iraq. We're

[32:56] not going to be there forever. And best

[32:58] way to make that clear is to actually

[32:59] start leaving. I mean, starting to take

[33:02] troops out of Iraq [applause]

[33:04] >> and

[33:07] and and I I I think the the one good

[33:09] immediate thing that might come from

[33:11] that is Americans will stop being killed

[33:13] on a daily basis. So that that would be

[33:15] great.

[33:15] >> That would be a very good

[33:16] >> be tremendous. But [applause]

[33:20] what is your what is your view for the

[33:22] the future of the country then Iraq?

[33:24] Well, I think what what we have to

[33:26] recognize is eventually Iraq's going to

[33:28] have to do it for themselves. And

[33:30] there's no chance any other country in

[33:31] that region is going to help to secure

[33:33] Iraq as long as we're there as an

[33:35] occupying force. So, I think we need to

[33:37] make it clear we're leaving, start the

[33:39] process. We ought to do it in a smart,

[33:41] efficient way with some advice from our

[33:42] military leadership. And then we ought

[33:44] to make it clear to Iraq that they're

[33:45] going to have to step to the plate and

[33:47] and look after themselves.

[33:48] >> And and if if what's the likelihood of

[33:51] us stepping aside and then the whole

[33:53] thing collapsing? Is that a possibility?

[33:55] >> I think anything's a possibility.

[33:56] Anybody who suggests that they know that

[33:59] this course will be successful is just

[34:01] not telling the truth. The truth is it's

[34:04] a the choices are bad. We're in a bad

[34:06] situation and we have to use the best

[34:08] judgment we can under the circumstances.

[34:10] >> Uh let's talk a little bit about your

[34:12] background. You're an attorney. Is that

[34:14] right?

[34:14] >> I am.

[34:14] >> And a trial. At least

[34:16] >> I used to be. Yeah.

[34:17] >> Yeah. Uh when you were a kid, was that

[34:20] in your family? Did a father, uncles,

[34:22] friends? What drove you or led you to

[34:24] the uh to law?

[34:25] >> Um I thought Perry Mason was cool.

[34:27] >> Mhm.

[34:29] [laughter]

[34:31] >> Well, there you go.

[34:34] >> Uh you what particularly did you like

[34:36] about Perry Mason?

[34:37] >> I like seeing him chew people up on on

[34:39] the witness stand.

[34:40] >> Yeah. Yeah. And when you were ever in in

[34:43] court, did you think of something that

[34:45] Perry Mason did or said that helped you

[34:47] in the case?

[34:48] >> Yeah. And every time I tried it, I look

[34:49] like a buffoon.

[34:50] >> Uh-huh.

[34:52] [laughter] Well,

[34:54] >> uh, let's talk about the, uh, oh, what

[34:57] about the Democrats running in 2008? Are

[35:00] are you on that list?

[35:01] >> Maybe.

[35:02] >> Yeah,

[35:02] >> maybe.

[35:03] >> That'd be exciting, huh? [applause]

[35:07] >> Who? Let's run it down. Everybody

[35:09] talking about Hillary?

[35:10] >> Yeah.

[35:10] >> Uh, Barack Obama.

[35:12] >> Yep.

[35:12] >> Uh, yourself.

[35:13] >> Yep.

[35:14] >> Uh, the Republicans, it's uh, John

[35:16] McCain. I don't know who else might be.

[35:17] Who am I missing? Who am I leaving off?

[35:19] Maybe Al Gore. Al Gore. Think about it

[35:21] again.

[35:21] >> Rudy Giuliani.

[35:22] >> Rudy Giuliani. Now, that would be

[35:23] fascinating.

[35:24] >> I heard I heard actually that earlier

[35:26] this week he announced an exploratory

[35:27] committee.

[35:28] >> That's what I heard as well. Yeah. U and

[35:30] and likely yourself then

[35:32] >> maybe.

[35:32] >> Yeah.

[35:34] >> Uh what would be the determining factor

[35:36] in your own campaign

[35:38] >> uh about whether to run or not? Yes.

[35:40] Well, I got to make sure my wife

[35:41] Elizabeth continues to do well. Her

[35:43] health is is very good right now and

[35:45] she's doing great, which we're very

[35:46] happy about. [applause]

[35:54] I I just, you know, I mean, the the

[35:56] older I get and the more we do this

[35:57] show, I just can't imagine anybody, a

[35:59] man or woman, wanting that that job

[36:01] because I mean, if you're looking for

[36:03] dough, go into I mean, anything else

[36:05] pays more money than being president.

[36:07] Yeah.

[36:08] >> Uh and and and and punks like me uh eat

[36:11] these guys left and right.

[36:15] Uh,

[36:15] >> I was I was I was really upset to see

[36:17] you making fun of our president, by the

[36:18] way. [laughter]

[36:20] >> That's just it. And but that's that's

[36:21] what we do. And you know, there are

[36:23] other shows and I would just think that

[36:24] wouldn't you get tired of having your

[36:26] shorts handed to you every night?

[36:28] >> I mean, is that a consideration about

[36:31] running?

[36:31] >> Yeah, actually it is because it's it can

[36:33] be brutal, especially when you when you

[36:35] screw up,

[36:36] >> right? And and it's beyond just being

[36:38] thick skinned. I mean, oh my god, it's

[36:40] it's merciless, isn't it?

[36:41] >> Yeah, it is. It can be merciless. That's

[36:43] uh

[36:43] >> but some you know in fairness sometimes

[36:45] we bring it on ourselves.

[36:46] >> Well yes but but I mean in any other

[36:48] walk of life it largely you're allowed

[36:51] to screw up on your own in your own time

[36:53] in your own home where nobody but the

[36:55] kids will see you.

[36:55] >> Yeah it's very

[36:58] >> um and then Rumsfield taking a hike.

[37:00] What's uh how did you feel about that?

[37:02] >> Several years too late.

[37:03] >> Yeah. Too late. Yeah. And [applause]

[37:10] I I mean, if it was in the air and and

[37:12] apparently he had offered his

[37:14] resignation to a couple of times, why

[37:15] why didn't the Republicans do this a

[37:18] year ago, a month ago, a day before the

[37:20] election, why wait till the day after

[37:21] the election?

[37:22] >> I have absolutely no idea. Unless they

[37:24] thought, you know, it would be a sign of

[37:25] weakness that they were replacing

[37:26] Rumsfeld. That's the only thing I can

[37:27] think of.

[37:29] >> Yeah. But it also could be viewed as

[37:31] maybe a step in the right direction

[37:32] before the elections that could have

[37:33] perhaps saved them a

[37:34] >> seed. Heaven forbid we make a step in

[37:36] the right direction. So

[37:37] >> I guess so. Let's uh let's talk about

[37:40] the the book. Did I uh describe this

[37:42] correctly? It's stories about uh the

[37:44] lives of a wide variety of Americans.

[37:47] >> It is growing up basically the homes

[37:49] that they grew up in.

[37:49] >> And is that you on the cover?

[37:51] >> Isn't that a good-look kid?

[37:52] >> Yeah.

[37:54] >> You know you I'm posing. Do you notice

[37:56] that?

[37:56] >> Very nice.

[37:58] And was there a uh a similarity in the

[38:00] stories? A a common thread?

[38:02] >> There was. There was. What what was what

[38:04] was actually startling to me because

[38:06] lots of people wrote stories, some

[38:08] famous people, Steven Spielberg,

[38:09] Hankazeria, Sugar Ray Leonard, lots of

[38:12] famous people, and then some people who

[38:14] weren't famous. And there was a very

[38:16] common thread and the thread was that

[38:19] people remember the same things. you

[38:22] know, they remember their parents coming

[38:23] home from work, sitting around the

[38:24] kitchen table, cooking, sort of the

[38:27] warmth and and security. And what what

[38:29] you the sense you get when you read it

[38:31] is that there's a real connectedness for

[38:34] us as Americans. All the we have all

[38:36] these superficial differences, political

[38:38] race, where we live in the country, lots

[38:40] income, lots of different differences,

[38:42] but when you get down to it, we have an

[38:44] awful lot in common.

[38:45] >> Were these all positive memories or did

[38:47] you have any that were

[38:48] >> There were some that were less positive.

[38:49] I mean, but I think the truth is that

[38:52] most people, I bet it's true of you,

[38:53] too. Most people when they think back to

[38:55] their childhood, most of what you

[38:57] remember, you tend to block out the bad

[38:58] things and remember the good things,

[39:00] >> right? I [snorts] remember I had an

[39:01] uncle um Claude who who who drank and he

[39:07] I remember one time he chased me around

[39:09] the yard with a sharp stick.

[39:14] >> If you were if you were writing about

[39:15] your your home, would you write about

[39:17] that? [laughter]

[39:19] the first story in there. Uh, this is

[39:22] the book, The Blueprint, Blueprints of

[39:24] Our Lives. And maybe he's running, maybe

[39:26] he's not running. Ladies and gentlemen,

[39:28] former Senator John Edwards. Thank you

[39:29] very much. Let's see it. We'll be right

[39:32] back with Will Arnett. Everybody

[39:35] [applause and music]

[39:43] taking a quick break. I'd like to

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[43:24] [music]

[43:31] >> [applause]

[43:32] >> Ladies and gentlemen, it's time now to

[43:33] play Will It Float here. [music]

[43:40] [music]

[43:45] Now, the holidays are just around the

[43:47] corner and people are always asking me,

[43:49] "Dave, what should we get for the kids?"

[43:50] And I say, "How about the Will It Float

[43:52] home game." Ah,

[43:54] >> everything contained in one cardboard

[43:56] box so you can have just as much fun at

[43:58] home as we have every Friday night here

[44:00] in the Ed Sullivan Theater. People say,

[44:01] "What's in that box, Dave?" Well, here,

[44:03] let me show you.

[44:03] >> Let us see. What does it come with?

[44:05] >> Right here,

[44:08] >> this is a list of stuff that you can

[44:10] float.

[44:11] >> Yeah.

[44:12] >> And this is some some water.

[44:16] You may need a little more water, but

[44:17] we're just getting you started.

[44:19] >> Okay.

[44:22] >> All right. What's tonight's item, Alan?

[44:25] >> I am Alan Coffee, TV's Uncle.

[44:26] >> We know who you are. We go through this

[44:28] every week,

[44:29] >> Dave. Tonight's item is a onegallon

[44:32] plastic jug.

[44:33] >> Float

[44:34] >> of Cairo syrup.

[44:36] >> Float. Plastic jug. Float. Plastic jug.

[44:41] It'll sink. What?

[44:43] >> What do you think?

[44:44] >> What are you saying?

[44:44] >> I think it'll sing.

[44:45] >> Krose syrup.

[44:46] >> I think it's going to sing. Is

[44:47] >> that chocolate syrup?

[44:48] >> No, it's just some kind of syrup.

[44:51] >> Okay.

[44:51] >> It's It's What is it? It's a made from

[44:53] sugar cane. Huh? Corn syrup. That's what

[44:55] it is. Corn syrup. Exactly.

[44:56] >> Oh, well then I think it'll float.

[45:01] >> You You had to wait till the kind of

[45:03] syrup was identified.

[45:06] >> I thought it was like that chocolate

[45:08] syrup they use in egg cream.

[45:09] >> Let's say it was just for the sake of

[45:11] the discussion. What if it was?

[45:12] >> Probably would sink.

[45:14] >> I I I think it'll sink. I think that

[45:16] it'll sink.

[45:16] >> I believe it'll float.

[45:17] >> I think it'll sink. Okay. All right.

[45:18] Here we go. Oh, what are we playing for?

[45:20] >> We're playing for a brand new set of

[45:22] tools.

[45:24] BACK to you.

[45:26] >> All right. I think we're playing for

[45:28] tools. Let's go. Here we are. Let's see

[45:30] if it's going to float or not. Look at

[45:32] that. Hi, girls. How are you? Oh, yeah.

[45:34] That's going to sink. Go ahead. Toss it

[45:36] in anytime you're ready. Yeah. Go ahead.

[45:38] Drop it in. There you go.

[45:41] >> [music]

[45:47] >> There you go. That's how you play. We'll

[45:49] see you later at the big.

[45:54] [music]

[46:04] We'll be right back with Will Arnett.

[46:07] [applause]

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[47:10] >> President Bush is in Vietnam. Uh he's

[47:12] he's there right now. He said it's

[47:14] beautiful. [music] He said it's changed

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[47:16] ago.

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[48:44] >> It started out as an innocent modeling

[48:46] job.

[48:46] >> It always does.

[48:48] >> I'm sorry I was a bad girl.

[48:50] >> How I Met Your Mother. Then just hear me

[48:52] out. [music] Go

[48:53] >> ahead. Well, I know that what I've done.

[48:56] >> Happy Thanksgiving.

[48:57] >> The class.

[48:58] >> There was more.

[48:59] >> After How I Met Your Mother, new episode

[49:00] CBS Monday.

[49:04] Thanks to everyone for making

[49:06] Impressionist week such a success. Now

[49:09] that it's over, tune in next week when

[49:12] we go back to doing the same old tired

[49:14] crap. We'll be right back.

[49:20] >> From me to you. [music]

[49:23] [singing]

[49:28] >> Let's do this.

[49:32] If there's anything that you want, come

[49:36] on. If there's anything that I can do,

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[50:20] >> Birth control. Back in the day, it was

[50:22] Oh, cool. Pregnancy protection. No

[50:25] objection. [music] Birth control will

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[51:50] >> Will team Alabama betray their alliance

[51:52] with the Cho Brothers? Go.

[51:55] >> Was making [music] a run for it.

[51:56] >> A new Amazing Race. CBS Sunday after 60

[51:58] Minutes.

[52:00] From Hallmark Hall of Fame. Her love

[52:02] brought light [music] to an entire town.

[52:04] >> I couldn't even hope for this.

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[52:08] Bay Street. November 26th.

[52:17] Oh, there's a spot.

[52:18] >> That's for sure.

[52:19] >> Nice work, buddy.

[52:24] >> Oh, I can't get out.

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[52:46] [music]

[52:50] >> Our next guest is a talented actor

[52:52] starring in a new film entitled Let's Go

[52:54] to Prison. [laughter]

[52:57] >> Sounds like fun.

[52:58] >> It does sound like a good good time

[53:01] romp.

[53:01] >> Yeah.

[53:03] >> Uh, it opened today. Ladies and

[53:04] gentlemen, here he is Will Arnett.

[53:06] They'll come on out.

[53:08] [applause and music]

[53:14] [music]

[53:22] >> What can you tell us about yourself,

[53:23] sir? Where are you from?

[53:24] >> I'm a tourist. Um

[53:26] >> Taurus.

[53:27] >> Yeah. And [snorts] uh coincidentally,

[53:29] that's where I drive. Um from Toronto.

[53:33] Grew up in Toronto.

[53:34] >> Beautiful town.

[53:36] It's uh it's, you know, it's a lot like

[53:38] a lot of people say it's like a like a

[53:40] clean New York.

[53:41] >> I prefer to think of it as a dirty

[53:43] Winnipeg.

[53:43] >> Yeah. [laughter]

[53:47] >> Very cosmopolitan though, isn't it?

[53:48] >> It is. A lot of great restaurants, a lot

[53:51] of fine folk there.

[53:52] >> Um, yeah. So, I grew up there and and

[53:54] and moved here in in my 20s,

[53:56] >> but uh before, you know, got into

[53:58] showbiz, I was just a regular guy. Yeah.

[54:00] Living in Toronto, just school of soft

[54:02] knocks.

[54:03] >> I see. And uh

[54:07] what what jobs did you have before you

[54:09] got into were able to get into show?

[54:11] >> Well, I did everything. I was I was a

[54:12] baggage handler for a small airline. I

[54:14] worked for an airline called Skywalker

[54:15] Air that you probably never heard of.

[54:18] And uh but they they operated the

[54:20] Toronto, Buffalo, and Toronto Rochester

[54:22] routes with a couple Twin Otter

[54:24] aircraft.

[54:25] >> Oh, Twin Otter is great.

[54:26] >> It's a stall aircraft.

[54:27] >> Yeah, that's a short takeoff and

[54:29] landing.

[54:29] >> Yeah. Thank you.

[54:30] >> It's a beautiful

[54:31] >> Yeah.

[54:31] >> Uh

[54:32] >> made by De Havland. It is made by

[54:34] Havlin. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great piece

[54:36] of machinery, but tremendous. We So, we

[54:40] I I was I was a baggage handler. I kind

[54:42] of had like a like a weekend job. My dad

[54:44] um made me get this job and and uh I I I

[54:47] would sometimes guide the planes in and

[54:49] and mishandled the luggage and um and do

[54:52] the thing with the with the flashlights,

[54:54] I called them.

[54:56] >> But uh

[54:58] and I I had a few mishaps in in that

[55:00] job. by um one time I guided a plane out

[55:03] and there was a loud uh loud thump and

[55:06] I'd left the stairs attached to the

[55:08] plane.

[55:08] >> Oh no. Oh no.

[55:11] >> But this is before everything all the

[55:13] craziness has gone on.

[55:14] >> So I just said, "Oh no, you're good.

[55:16] >> Go ahead.

[55:18] >> Hit Buffalo." [laughter]

[55:20] >> Uh which is a great city in its own

[55:22] right.

[55:23] >> Um

[55:24] >> and we used to have we we had some uh

[55:26] pretty rowdy pilots uh who worked for

[55:28] the airline. There were a few instances

[55:29] where a guy wouldn't show up for work

[55:31] and then a couple of the gals in the in

[55:33] the who worked at the ticket office say,

[55:34] "Oh, no, no, he was partying till 4:30

[55:36] in the morning." So, they get on the on

[55:38] the mic and they say passengers on

[55:40] flight 2 to Buffalo were having

[55:42] technical problems. Wow.

[55:43] >> And meanwhile, it's just Jim coming in

[55:45] late. [laughter]

[55:47] >> You splash water on his face and say,

[55:48] "Great, let's go." You know,

[55:52] >> it was uh but uh real role models for

[55:55] me.

[55:55] >> Sure.

[55:57] in my drinking years.

[55:58] >> Yeah.

[55:59] >> Uh and um you've done uh some voice

[56:03] work. Is that correct?

[56:04] >> I I Yeah, I [clears throat] I've done

[56:06] voice work. Uh

[56:07] >> what does that mean? It's like for

[56:08] commercials or uh animated features,

[56:11] that kind of thing.

[56:11] >> Yeah. Well, more animated features now.

[56:13] Uh uh but start just commercials just

[56:15] trying to, you know, uh just hit the

[56:17] city and uh and and try to get out there

[56:19] and get some commercial stuff. I I let

[56:21] my voice of the GMC trucks and into the

[56:23] Lamicil and a bunch of different things.

[56:25] Yeah,

[56:26] >> that's great. A lot of lot of money

[56:27] involved in that, isn't it? It's

[56:28] lucrative.

[56:29] >> It's pretty sweet, Brad. Yeah.

[56:30] >> Yeah. [laughter]

[56:32] >> I'm not going to lie to you.

[56:33] >> No, there's no reason for you to lie to

[56:35] me.

[56:35] >> There's no point.

[56:36] >> No. Why would you lie to me for the

[56:37] sake? Happy to

[56:37] >> be uh now the uh the the film Let's Go

[56:41] to Prison.

[56:42] >> I hope that's mine.

[56:42] >> Yes.

[56:43] >> Yes, it is. And people kind of uh

[56:45] laughed at the title, which is good. You

[56:47] want people to laugh at the

[56:48] >> Well, it's suggestive because it's

[56:49] saying, "Come on,

[56:50] >> let's go.

[56:51] >> Let's go."

[56:51] >> Yeah. And uh [laughter] it's the guys at

[56:54] the studio.

[56:55] >> Yeah. Well, they know what they're not

[56:57] they're not stupid.

[56:58] >> It wasn't originally entitled that.

[56:59] >> What was it originally called?

[57:00] >> You're going to die.

[57:01] >> Yeah.

[57:03] >> And they were like

[57:04] >> No, no, no. That's right.

[57:06] >> Uh it was it was actually originally

[57:08] entitled You Are Going to Prison.

[57:09] >> You are going to prison.

[57:10] >> And uh but they got wise

[57:11] >> and and your your character uh goes to

[57:13] prison.

[57:14] >> Yes.

[57:14] >> And it's about all the fun you can have.

[57:16] >> Well, yeah. [laughter]

[57:19] >> Yeah. It's uh man, it's a good time in

[57:22] there and uh [laughter]

[57:25] >> you're just really shedding some light

[57:27] on it cuz I don't think I think it gets

[57:28] a bad rap. That's the deal.

[57:30] >> I think it has over Yeah.

[57:32] >> And uh the gang over at Universal, they

[57:34] figured, hey, look, let's just widen it

[57:37] out a little bit.

[57:37] >> Let let everybody in on the good news.

[57:39] >> Take a look. [laughter]

[57:41] >> That's right. Uh well, let's uh show a

[57:43] clip of the film. It opens uh today, as

[57:46] a matter of fact. Let's What are we

[57:47] going to see here, Will? Do you know?

[57:48] Well, there's a we're we're in in prison

[57:50] and I think I think uh uh uh uh Oh, it's

[57:55] my first day in prison.

[57:57] >> First day in the slammer.

[57:58] >> Yeah.

[57:59] >> Okay, here we go. Take a look. Will

[58:00] Arnette, let's go to prison.

[58:03] >> So, now what do we do?

[58:08] >> What do you mean?

[58:10] >> I mean

[58:12] I mean what are we what are we supposed

[58:14] to do?

[58:15] >> We're doing it, man. This is it.

[58:19] We're right in the thick of the action.

[58:22] We hang out here, go to lunch, come

[58:25] back, hang out some more, go to dinner.

[58:28] You know how someone might describe a

[58:31] situation that's unpleasant or confining

[58:33] as being like a prison

[58:38] is what they're referring to.

[58:42] [applause]

[58:46] So, let's go to prison. Uh, open

[58:49] tonight. Nice meeting you. Nice to meet

[58:51] you, too.

[58:51] >> Good luck with the movie. Pleasure.

[58:52] Thank you,

[58:53] >> Will Arnette, ladies and gentlemen.

[58:54] We'll be right back, everybody. [music]

[59:00] >> It's Southwest Washington's holiday food

[59:02] and gift festival this Friday through

[59:04] Sunday at the Clark County Fairgrounds.

[59:06] Holiday gifts, decorations, arts and

[59:08] crafts, gourmet food tasting, it all

[59:10] happens this Friday through Sunday at

[59:11] the Clark County Fairgrounds. You'll

[59:13] love it.

[59:20] >> [music]

[59:27] >> See all the wonderful toys [music] at

[59:29] the Mercedes-Benz winter event with a

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[59:32] passenger GL450, the 2007 Motor Trend

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[59:41] on your wish list.

[59:45] So, do you have friends in New York?

[59:46] >> Yeah.

[59:47] >> What phone service do you use? [music]

[59:49] >> Um, Comcast definitely. I get unlimited

[59:52] calling in the US and Canada. All my

[59:54] favorite calling features.

[59:56] >> Voicemail notifies me online.

[59:57] >> It works on the phones I already have.

[59:58] >> I got to keep my phone number

[60:00] >> and we only pay $33 [music] a month for

[60:02] the whole year. Oh, I can call Canada as

[60:05] much as I want.

[60:06] >> Can you say Comcastic and Canadian?

[60:08] [music]

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[60:11] Hey,

[60:15] >> George Morland presents a pop quiz on

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[60:19] bathtub as we know it first appeared in

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[61:17] >> I won't [music] come to your baby

[61:18] shower.

[61:20] Won't ever ask if it's a boy or a girl.

[61:24] In truth, we'll never meet.

[61:27] But I'll be there along [music] with

[61:29] others like me in the delivery room.

[61:33] And someday you'll [music] return the

[61:35] favor from me.

[61:38] >> We are all connected [music] and

[61:40] thousands strong. Regents, together we

[61:44] can take charge.

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[61:48] Jeep sells more new Jeeps every month

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[62:05] >> [music]

[62:06] [applause]

[62:07] >> Thank you very much, Paul. Pleasure. My

[62:09] thanks to Will Arnett, Senator John

[62:11] Edwards, and Kevin Pollock for finishing

[62:14] up Impressionist Week. Now, Monday,

[62:16] Jerry Seinfeld will be here and uh some

[62:20] other things. So, you have a great week.

[62:22] We'll see you then. Thanks for watching.

[62:24] Good night, everybody. [music]

[62:30] Hey, look. Canaries.