The Late Show with David Letterman (CBS) - 2006-11-06

Channel: malgent

Transcript

Language: English (original, YouTube automatic captions)

[0:00] Dr. Phil talks about marriage, meth, and

[0:02] Oprah. Watch Coin View 6 Wednesday at 5.

[0:07] >> NCIS CBS Tuesday.

[0:11] >> From New York, the greatest city in the

[0:16] world, it's the show with Dave

[0:19] Letterman.

[0:23] Tonight, Will Ferrell

[0:26] and director America at the [music]

[0:28] Columbus Zoo, Jack,

[0:31] plus Paul Schaffer and the CBS

[0:35] orchestra.

[0:38] And now,

[0:39] Somalier with an attitude,

[0:43] J

[0:47] Let

[0:50] [music]

[0:55] Yeah.

[0:59] [music]

[1:00] Hey,

[1:04] [music]

[1:05] there you go.

[1:08] Thank you very much, ladies and

[1:09] gentlemen. [applause]

[1:11] Yesterday here in New York City was the

[1:13] running of the marathon. And boy, what

[1:14] an exciting day. Many folks in the

[1:16] audience actually ran in the marathon.

[1:18] Give yourselves a [cheering]

[1:25] What a uh what a what a huge success the

[1:27] marathon was yesterday. It went very

[1:29] well. Only 12 runners are missing. So

[1:32] that's we're always excited about that.

[1:36] And listen to this. There is a woman, a

[1:38] blind woman, blind, sightless from uh

[1:41] Afghanistan who had asthma. Ran

[1:44] yesterday,

[1:46] honest to God, ran yesterday in the New

[1:48] York City Marathon from Afghanistan. has

[1:50] asthma and is sightless. I actually

[1:52] sprained my ankle watching it on TV. I

[1:55] still

[1:58] got to get it wrapped.

[2:01] But [applause]

[2:04] the the day after is always trouble. Are

[2:06] you folks still recovering from the

[2:07] marathon?

[2:08] >> Yeah. [applause] Everybody in New York

[2:10] City, in fact, I'm walking through

[2:12] Central Park earlier today and I saw a

[2:14] squirrel putting Ben Gay on his nuts.

[2:22] That's right. [applause]

[2:24] Well, tomorrow is election day. You

[2:26] folks getting ready to vote.

[2:29] [applause]

[2:32] The only thing that can stop the

[2:34] Democrats now is a last minute joke from

[2:36] John Kerry.

[2:38] That's that's the only thing. [applause]

[2:44] You know, the Democrats are favored to

[2:46] win most races. As a matter of fact, the

[2:48] only Republican in Washington whose seat

[2:50] is safe uh is Lincoln. He's the only

[2:54] [applause]

[2:56] but but

[3:00] there there's been so much trouble in

[3:01] the years past with the voting

[3:03] irregularities. They have a new

[3:04] electronic thing and all you really have

[3:06] to do is you just punch the screen for

[3:08] your candidate. You just punch the

[3:10] screen which if you watch this show

[3:11] people are used to.

[3:15] >> [applause]

[3:19] >> Well, over the weekend, Saddam Hussein

[3:21] was sentenced to death and yes,

[3:26] [applause] I don't know.

[3:30] Kind of hate to see him go.

[3:33] Uh [laughter]

[3:36] Saddam uh Saddam personally was

[3:38] disappointed with the verdict and you

[3:40] know

[3:42] he thought he was going to be able to

[3:43] retire on his own like Bob Barker. He

[3:45] thought maybe

[3:47] go out like Bob Barker.

[3:50] Uh but he's sentenced to death and uh

[3:52] and you know how they're going to do it.

[3:53] He's going to be forced to go hunting

[3:54] with Dick Cheney. So that that's

[3:57] apparently other

[3:59] [applause]

[4:02] [music]

[4:14] [music]

[4:27] It's um [applause]

[4:30] what a uh I don't know if you folks know

[4:33] anything about football, but what a

[4:34] tremendous weekend it was for college

[4:36] football. My Ball State fighting Ball

[4:38] State Fighting Cardinals took on the

[4:40] number two ranked Michigan Wolverines in

[4:42] Michigan. 107,000 people in attendance

[4:46] and I predicted that Ball State would

[4:47] win 6 nothing.

[4:48] >> Yeah.

[4:49] >> Ball State is unranked. Michigan is

[4:50] ranked number two. And and they took it

[4:52] to him. took it to him and came within

[4:54] eight points of of tying them and maybe

[4:56] upsetting Michigan in overtime. And the

[4:58] new rankings are out now. Ball State is

[5:00] now the number one ranked team in the

[5:02] country.

[5:03] >> Really?

[5:03] >> Number one.

[5:04] >> How does that happen?

[5:05] >> Amazing.

[5:06] >> My goodness.

[5:10] >> And I just say one one other thing. I

[5:12] guaranteed the victory. I said Ball

[5:13] State will win. And I said if if Ball

[5:15] State doesn't win, everybody in

[5:16] attendance at the game, everybody who

[5:18] can prove they were at the game gets a

[5:20] brand new nickel. Well,

[5:22] that is off.

[5:25] Forget that. I never I never really

[5:26] meant it. And here's the thing. I got a

[5:28] friend of mine called me from the mint

[5:30] down in Washington and he said, "Dave,

[5:32] there's not that many nickels in

[5:33] circulation."

[5:35] >> So, by federal law, I really can't make

[5:37] good on that bet.

[5:40] You understand what I'm saying? Okay.

[5:43] [applause]

[5:44] But what a game.

[5:48] And then and then of course they had the

[5:50] they had the uh the marathon yesterday

[5:52] and they got a new kid from Brazil. He w

[5:54] he wins the race in like two hours 9

[5:57] minutes. Maurice Gomez Dos Santos in in

[6:00] like 2 hours and 9 minutes. That's

[6:01] crazy, isn't it? And the woman Yolena

[6:04] Pro Cupachuka repeated

[6:10] from Latvia is defending champion.

[6:12] Excuse me for one second here.

[6:16] Whoa.

[6:18] And and guess what? Lance Lance

[6:20] Armstrong, the seventime Tour to France

[6:23] winner, Lance Armstrong competed. And

[6:25] here's his time. 2 hours 59 minutes.

[6:27] Under 3 hours for Lance Armstrong.

[6:29] Amazing.

[6:30] >> Amazing. But

[6:33] [applause]

[6:36] I I think we all expected Lance's time

[6:39] to be a little better considering he was

[6:40] riding a bike.

[6:42] >> No, you're not.

[6:45] >> You're crazy.

[6:47] There's a nut.

[6:48] >> The hell is that thing right there?

[6:51] >> Uh, ladies and gentlemen, here he is.

[6:53] Lance Armstrong. Congratulations, Lance.

[6:55] [music]

[7:01] [music]

[7:12] [music]

[7:14] Oh my god.

[7:16] Hi, how are you? [music]

[7:23] >> Nice to see you. How are you?

[7:25] >> Oh, you look wonderful.

[7:29] >> Thank you.

[7:30] >> Wow. [applause]

[7:32] You look wonderful.

[7:33] >> Well, thank you so much.

[7:34] >> Thank you very much.

[7:35] >> See, I was um I'm in town and I'm such a

[7:39] huge fan.

[7:40] >> Oh, that's very nice of you to say. God

[7:41] bless you. Thank you very much. That

[7:43] means a lot to me.

[7:44] >> I had to stop by. Oh, that's very sweet

[7:45] of you.

[7:46] >> She was down the hall, I think, taping

[7:48] her own special.

[7:49] >> Go ahead.

[7:51] >> No, I wasn't talking about you. I was

[7:52] talking about Will Ferrell.

[7:54] >> Oh, I see.

[7:54] >> Do you do you know where he is?

[7:56] >> Well, he's he'll be over there in the in

[7:58] the green room. Good luck. Thank you

[8:00] very much.

[8:02] [music]

[8:09] [music]

[8:13] Isn't that sweet? says Britney Spears.

[8:15] >> She dropped in.

[8:16] >> She dropped in.

[8:18] >> Um,

[8:19] >> unbelievable. [applause]

[8:20] >> Oh, let me

[8:21] >> She looks great.

[8:23] >> Holy cow.

[8:24] >> Let me tell you who's on the uh program

[8:26] tonight, ladies and gentlemen. And I

[8:27] think you'll change your mind about

[8:29] changing channels.

[8:31] Oh, the the great Will Ferrell, funny

[8:34] man. Will Frell

[8:37] >> is here.

[8:40] [applause]

[8:42] He has a uh starring in a brand new

[8:45] motion picture called Stranger Than

[8:46] Fiction. It opens on Friday. I've seen

[8:49] this movie. Boy, is this good.

[8:50] >> It is. Eh,

[8:51] >> it's a tremendous movie.

[8:53] >> Comedy.

[8:54] >> Uh, yes. It's funny. Part parts of it

[8:56] are very funny. But but not what you

[8:58] might expect from Will Frell. But a very

[9:00] good movie and a and a great cast.

[9:02] Dustin Hoffman is in the film. Really?

[9:04] >> Yes. And

[9:05] >> who is he again?

[9:06] >> Dustin Hoffman.

[9:09] Of course. No, he's huge.

[9:11] >> And and uh anyway, it's called Stranger

[9:13] Than Fiction. And Will Frell is here

[9:15] also on the program tonight. Jack

[9:16] Hannah, ladies and gentlemen, jungle

[9:18] >> Jack Hannah.

[9:27] >> And uh Jack has an animal on the program

[9:29] tonight. He he's a an animal guy, jungle

[9:32] Jack Hannah.

[9:33] >> Yeah. and he will go into the to the

[9:36] wilds of uh in wilderness parts of the

[9:39] world into the wildest parts of the

[9:41] wilderness

[9:42] and he he will retrieve and capture

[9:45] animals and he will bring them uh to us

[9:48] in Africa. He's frequently found on the

[9:51] velt

[9:53] and he will bring in animals and we will

[9:55] see them and he will demonstrate them

[9:57] and then he takes them back into the

[9:58] wilds and releases them.

[10:01] Tonight he has the largest animal of its

[10:04] kind in captivity anywhere in the world.

[10:06] Bigger than any other version of this

[10:08] animal anywhere in the world. The

[10:11] biggest version of this animal. You You

[10:14] will not see a bigger animal of this

[10:16] variety

[10:18] than the one Jack has here tonight.

[10:20] >> Are you going to tell us what it is?

[10:21] >> No.

[10:23] >> It's from Asia.

[10:25] >> Okay.

[10:26] >> Continent of origin.

[10:27] >> Yes.

[10:27] >> It's 18 years old.

[10:30] >> Okay. It's Its name is Fluffy. I can

[10:32] tell you it name is Fluffy.

[10:34] Uh, its diet. Uh, take a guess what it

[10:38] eats.

[10:39] >> Rats.

[10:41] >> No, it doesn't say rats here.

[10:44] >> Rabbits.

[10:45] >> Oh my god. It eats rabbits.

[10:46] >> It eats rabbits. Chickens.

[10:48] >> Chickens.

[10:49] >> Mhm.

[10:51] >> Goats.

[10:54] >> Is it Is it Kirsty Alley?

[10:57] [cheering]

[11:09] Yes. Yes, it is.

[11:12] >> Jack has brought us Kirsty Alley.

[11:14] >> No, she's not from Asia. I should.

[11:17] >> Anyway, it's the It's the biggest It's

[11:19] the biggest thing you'll ever see.

[11:20] Believe me.

[11:21] >> Oh, no.

[11:21] >> Now, listen to this.

[11:22] >> That's what my wife said. But I

[11:25] always What? [applause]

[11:28] I don't know. Um, most pundits now

[11:31] expect the Republicans to take a beating

[11:33] at the polls tomorrow. It could be a big

[11:35] day tomorrow for the Democrats, but you

[11:38] you never know. With an election, it

[11:39] could go either way. Judging from their

[11:41] latest campaign advertisement, it looks

[11:43] like that party might be getting a

[11:45] little discouraged. What do you mean?

[11:46] Indications now that the Republicans may

[11:48] be a little discouraged about the

[11:50] upcoming elections tomorrow. Take a

[11:51] look.

[11:59] We're

[12:01] a message from your Republican party.

[12:05] You see,

[12:10] what are you going to do?

[12:13] They looks to me like they've already

[12:15] given up.

[12:17] And now, [applause] time for a little

[12:20] something we call small town news. Here

[12:22] we go. Here's [music]

[12:25] a little big town. [singing]

[12:29] He's a big town boy.

[12:33] Is Indiana close to Illinois? He's such

[12:36] a

[12:38] All right, here we go. Now, this is

[12:40] small town news and these are uh

[12:42] newspapers and little flyers and

[12:45] handouts and things that are published

[12:46] in smaller communities around the United

[12:48] States and they have a little

[12:49] interesting news items, little

[12:50] interesting advertisements

[12:51] advertisements and we put them all

[12:53] together in something called small town

[12:54] news.

[12:55] >> Right. Take a look here. This is a

[12:57] classified ad from Bowling Green

[13:00] Kentucky newspaper. Sofa in excellent

[13:02] condition. Never had kids, dogs, or

[13:05] drunks on it.

[13:07] [applause]

[13:09] No kids, no dogs, no drunks.

[13:15] This is from a Salt Lake City, Utah

[13:17] paper. This isn't a a bad deal when you

[13:19] think about it. Computer users needed

[13:22] typing and word processing from home.

[13:24] $45,000 an hour income potential.

[13:28] [applause]

[13:28] $45,000

[13:30] an hour.

[13:35] That's a lot of dough. $45,000.

[13:38] That seems high to me.

[13:42] >> Uh this is from the Charlotte, North

[13:44] Carolina Observer. This is a wedding

[13:46] announcement here. Sallyanne Gallagher

[13:49] and Christopher Marshall Lindsay were

[13:52] married August 3rd. Wow.

[13:56] Well, that is [applause]

[13:59] that is one smooth talking retriever.

[14:05] This is from a Texas newspaper. Deborah

[14:08] Jackson said she likes shopping at the

[14:10] Dollar Palace because it is convenient

[14:12] and casual. I don't have to get all

[14:14] dressed up like I'm going to Walmart or

[14:16] something. She said

[14:20] [applause]

[14:25] this is from the Tri City Record in

[14:27] Michigan. Dylan Rouchy describes his

[14:30] Halloween costume plan. I don't know

[14:32] yet, but one idea I have is to be a

[14:34] Mexican.

[14:37] I can put on a sombrero and wear a boat

[14:39] around me and pretend I was crossing the

[14:42] border.

[14:45] Going to be a Mexican. [applause]

[14:48] Uh, the Valley Falls indicator in

[14:50] Kansas. Letterman fans Steve and Monica

[14:55] Mccason stopped at the low deli and

[14:57] shopped at the CBS junk store for

[14:59] t-shirts and late night coffee cups.

[15:02] Monica reports that Rupert G's is just

[15:04] like the hole in the wall place depicted

[15:06] on the show.

[15:09] [applause]

[15:14] >> Late night. [applause]

[15:17] >> That's that's the name of the old show.

[15:19] >> We used to be late night.

[15:20] >> That's right. This is from the Minet

[15:22] North Dakota Daily News. A bill would

[15:24] enable blind people to hunt with

[15:26] crossbows.

[15:38] And finally, oh, this is from Louisiana.

[15:41] Piggly Wiggly Grocery Specials.

[15:44] And it features premium boneless

[15:46] bananas. $3

[15:49] for a dollar.

[15:53] >> [music]

[15:54] >> That's a little wild

[16:01] in Indiana.

[16:05] He's such a boy.

[16:08] [music]

[16:14] >> Indiana. It's close to Illinois. That's

[16:17] a question. We'll be right back.

[16:21] [music]

[16:27] >> Look, there's a moose. Give me a noose.

[16:29] I'm lost again. Where is Highway 10?

[16:31] This isn't good neighborhood.

[16:36] >> Ding [singing] dong.

[16:38] >> I miss my chance. I'm going to burn

[16:42] the really high.

[16:45] >> There's a moose again. Give a give a

[16:48] garment. Give a gar. Scream clear and

[16:52] wide. Whole world inside. Car.

[16:57] >> The seventh and final season. New on DVD

[16:59] [music] this election day. The end of an

[17:01] era.

[17:01] >> You're the future. We're counting on

[17:02] you.

[17:03] >> And a new beginning.

[17:05] >> He's not going to know what it is.

[17:06] Intriguing extras.

[17:07] >> It's been a hell of a ride though,

[17:08] hasn't it?

[17:09] >> The West Wing. The seventh and final

[17:10] season. New on DVD Tuesday.

[17:12] >> Good night, honey.

[17:13] >> Good night.

[17:15] Sometimes what you need after your

[17:16] holiday vacation,

[17:18] >> happy Thanksgiving,

[17:19] >> is a vacation.

[17:20] >> You, too.

[17:21] >> Book your holiday trip now and save $200

[17:24] on your next trip. Expedient.com.

[17:27] >> Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Davis.

[17:29] >> I'm sorry, sir. Mr. Davis's flight is

[17:31] delayed and won't arrive until 5:30.

[17:33] We'll have to reschedu your interview.

[17:36] Sir. Sir.

[17:39] >> Ford Fusion. Smart Money's best new car

[17:41] value. [music] And with great fuel

[17:42] mileage and JD Power and Associates's

[17:44] most appealing midsize car, it makes a

[17:46] great impression when you're ready to

[17:48] make yours. Now get a Ford Fusion

[17:50] starting at $179.95. [music]

[17:54] >> Come on, baby. Let's go.

[18:00] [music]

[18:05] [music]

[18:15] >> [music]

[18:20] >> With three different hybrids to choose

[18:22] from, Toyota is the number one selling

[18:24] hybrid brand in the US. It's a smart way

[18:28] [music] to keep moving forward.

[18:31] Darlene Hulie. She's been against the

[18:33] war in Iraq, but she's [music] led the

[18:35] fight to get our troops the equipment

[18:37] they need. So, what kind of person would

[18:39] lie about Darlene Hulie's record in a

[18:42] time of war? Meet Mike Ericson.

[18:44] Newspapers say Ericson's been dogged

[18:46] [music] by character questions about his

[18:48] past, and they criticize his ultra

[18:50] negative attacks. They endorse Hulie

[18:53] [music] and say American veterans and

[18:54] soldiers have no better friend in

[18:57] Congress. I'm Darlene Hulie and I

[18:59] approve [music] this message.

[19:04] >> You and [music] I will never know each

[19:06] other.

[19:08] Our paths will never cross. [music]

[19:11] But I'll be there when the diagnosis

[19:14] comes and the invincibility ends.

[19:18] [music] Through the ups and downs

[19:21] for as long as it takes to heal.

[19:24] We are all [music] connected and

[19:26] thousands strong. Regents, together we

[19:30] can take charge.

[19:35] [music]

[19:40] Lovely.

[19:44] Will Frell is on the program this

[19:46] evening and uh Jack Hannah [applause]

[19:51] uh 18 years old and the animal in

[19:53] question the biggest largest animal

[19:55] you'll ever see of this variety is

[19:57] female. Did I mention that?

[19:59] >> Yeah. No, you didn't.

[20:00] >> Mhm. 18 years old. Uh 20 fluffy. Okay.

[20:04] >> Fluffy.

[20:05] >> Fluffy. And you've you will never see

[20:06] anything. And And uh it takes four

[20:09] people

[20:10] >> to kind of maneuver the animal.

[20:14] So large is this animal that it takes

[20:16] four individuals to maneuver it.

[20:22] >> What's the matter?

[20:23] >> Kirsty Alley.

[20:24] >> No.

[20:28] >> Our first guest stars in a brand new

[20:30] motion picture entitled Stranger Than

[20:33] Fiction. It opens November 10th. Here,

[20:35] ladies and gentlemen, welcome the always

[20:36] entertaining Will Frell. Will, come on

[20:39] up. [music]

[20:48] >> [music]

[20:54] [music]

[20:58] [applause]

[20:59] >> You know, we were um

[21:01] >> Thank you. We talked to a gentleman in

[21:03] the audience earlier who had run the

[21:04] marathon yesterday and he said that he

[21:06] knew you had competed in the Boston

[21:07] Marathon. I' I'd run the Boston

[21:09] >> and then also the Stockholm America.

[21:11] >> Stockholm and New York. I was supposed

[21:12] to run yesterday in fact. Um but I got

[21:16] confused. The carbo load. You're

[21:18] supposed to carbo load,

[21:19] >> right?

[21:21] >> And I misunderstood. I thought I thought

[21:24] someone said corn dog load. And uh

[21:26] >> corn dog load. Really?

[21:27] >> So I had I literally had 18 corn dog uh

[21:31] by 6:00 in the morning. I I I was full.

[21:33] I had a building full of corn dogs

[21:35] >> and I ran the first mile and then I just

[21:37] laid down the street. Yeah.

[21:40] >> Well, it's a surprise cuz it wasn't your

[21:41] first time, but yet you made that

[21:43] mistake. That seems like a beginner's

[21:44] mistake.

[21:45] >> I've run three of them and I I I just

[21:47] don't listen to people that you

[21:49] [laughter]

[21:50] just off the street.

[21:51] >> That's right.

[21:51] >> Is the motto.

[21:52] >> Now, which of the uh two experiences

[21:54] that you actually ran was the more

[21:56] difficult?

[21:56] >> Well, Boston uh well, New York was was I

[21:59] I ran New York.

[22:00] >> We've run three then.

[22:00] >> I've run three. So New York I ran in 5

[22:02] hours.

[22:03] >> Mhm.

[22:03] >> Uh which is which was painful. And uh

[22:08] >> and then I got better. I did Stockholm

[22:10] in 422.

[22:11] >> That must be beautiful. Stock.

[22:13] >> Beautiful.

[22:13] >> Beautiful.

[22:15] >> Beautiful place to run.

[22:17] [applause]

[22:17] >> And then I did Boston in 356.

[22:20] >> Whoa. Nearly.

[22:22] >> Really?

[22:23] >> Yeah.

[22:25] >> Wow. [applause]

[22:27] So uh very impressive. In fact, uh I got

[22:30] when I ran Boston, uh I I got to go in

[22:32] the hospitality suite and uh which was

[22:35] lovely.

[22:35] >> Mhm.

[22:36] >> And um

[22:39] [laughter]

[22:39] uh and you should go if you ever get a

[22:41] chance.

[22:41] >> Yeah. I I don't I don't know that I

[22:42] will, but

[22:43] >> you don't even have to run. You can just

[22:44] go to the hospitality.

[22:45] >> And I was talking to one of the Kenyan

[22:46] runners who who was drinking a beer and

[22:49] looked like he hadn't broke a sweat. And

[22:50] I said, "How how fast did did you run?"

[22:53] He said, "Uh I did 220." And I said,

[22:58] "That's crap. Um,

[23:01] you might you might want to try picking

[23:03] up the pace next time. What are you

[23:05] loping?" And then I could tell he was

[23:07] really upset. I was like, "Hey, I was

[23:08] just kidding. Uh, that's a really great

[23:11] time." And uh, [laughter] he said, "No,

[23:13] I knew that you were kidding, but it's

[23:15] really bad."

[23:17] >> So, I don't know. I don't know if he was

[23:18] in trouble.

[23:19] >> Was he Kenyan or Russian? because it

[23:21] said to me,

[23:22] >> yeah,

[23:24] >> you know,

[23:26] I'm not sure.

[23:28] >> It's it's a very similar dialect.

[23:30] >> Yeah,

[23:32] >> that's right.

[23:33] >> If you know your dialects.

[23:34] >> Well, no, no, and I don't. Forgive me. I

[23:36] really don't know my dialects. Uh, but

[23:38] that's amazing that you've run the three

[23:40] truly wonderful events like that and

[23:43] they keep getting better. Now, how how

[23:45] is your son? How old is your son now?

[23:46] >> Uh, Magnus, he's two and a half.

[23:48] >> Two and a half. Two and a half. and and

[23:50] uh signs of discussion maybe increasing

[23:54] the size of the

[23:55] >> we we're expecting a a second child.

[23:58] >> Congratulations. Very nice. Good for

[23:59] [applause] you.

[24:00] >> Thank you.

[24:02] >> Oh, just a month. Two months.

[24:04] >> Yeah, we're in the uh we're in the home

[24:06] stretch.

[24:06] >> Good for you. Good. How does the little

[24:08] boy take to this news?

[24:10] >> Uh he he doesn't like it. Um he's in

[24:13] denial about it. And uh you know, I'll

[24:15] I'll try to talk to him. I'll say, you

[24:17] know, Magnus, there's a there's a baby

[24:19] in mommy's belly, you know, and uh

[24:23] >> he'll pause as if he's on like a a

[24:26] medical drama, and he'll [laughter]

[24:29] >> he'll go

[24:34] and he'll look at me and go, "No, baby."

[24:37] >> Uhhuh.

[24:40] >> No, baby. [laughter]

[24:42] As if I'm a crazy person who's trying to

[24:43] let me down easy. And I'm like, you

[24:46] better live it up now cuz number two's

[24:48] coming and it's it's not going to be fun

[24:50] for you.

[24:51] >> So, and it gets heated. It gets heated

[24:53] between us.

[24:54] >> So, he's really trying to straighten you

[24:56] out.

[24:56] >> He's trying to straighten me out as if

[24:58] he's talking to a crazy person.

[24:59] >> And and and I I it's going to be

[25:02] fascinating to see what that

[25:03] relationship is.

[25:04] >> Well, yeah. How it

[25:05] >> When baby number two comes, you know, if

[25:07] it's a little boy or a little girl.

[25:09] >> You know what? I I don't know if if if

[25:13] we do. Uh

[25:16] >> well, you would know. I think you would.

[25:17] You would know. So, you probably don't

[25:18] know.

[25:20] >> I got to check my Blackberry. I don't

[25:22] know.

[25:24] Well, we do know. We do know, but I

[25:27] forget if we're telling people if they

[25:29] know or not.

[25:29] >> Well, it's none of my business. I just

[25:31] thought maybe you knew and

[25:32] >> I told the Today Show we weren't telling

[25:33] them.

[25:34] >> Uhhuh. That's good. You can tell me

[25:35] anything.

[25:35] >> But it's a boy. It's

[25:39] Thank you. [applause]

[25:41] I appreciate that. Means a lot. Yeah.

[25:47] [applause]

[25:47] >> Good boy.

[25:48] >> Uh well, good luck. I'm very excited for

[25:50] you. We'll

[25:50] >> I'm excited, too.

[25:51] >> We'll be right back here with Will

[25:52] Frell, everybody.

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[28:45] >> Moving over the damage center.

[28:48] Thank you, Paul.

[28:50] >> Will Frell, now [applause]

[28:54] I forgive me. I I should have asked you

[28:56] this and and some people uh like to do

[28:58] this, some people don't like to do this.

[29:00] You have do you have any pictures we

[29:01] could see of Magnus?

[29:02] >> Um I Well, you know what? I don't have I

[29:05] don't take pictures of him because I

[29:06] don't want to deal with the camera

[29:09] >> and the film and stuff like that digital

[29:12] >> but what we have right it's all

[29:15] >> and uh so what we I have a caricature

[29:17] artist that goes around with us you know

[29:20] >> like a a courtroom sketch

[29:22] >> no more like you know you go to the

[29:23] boardwalk and someone

[29:25] >> Oh yeah for like 20 bucks. Yeah.

[29:27] >> So I have some caricature drawings of

[29:29] some of his things he likes to do. Oh,

[29:31] so the the artist follows the show those

[29:33] >> Yeah. And uh Magnus loves to lift

[29:35] weights. Um

[29:38] >> he's a good-look boy.

[29:39] >> Yeah.

[29:41] >> He's really into taking care of himself.

[29:43] This seems like it would be expensive to

[29:44] pay an artist, is it?

[29:45] >> It is. It's close to $80,000 a year. But

[29:48] um

[29:49] >> Wow. He loves playing his zuzafhone.

[29:53] >> Um [applause] I think that's a tuba.

[29:56] >> Yeah. I don't really pay attention.

[29:57] >> He's not very good at it, I'll be honest

[29:59] with you.

[30:00] Uh he's an avid outdoorsman. He loves

[30:02] wind surfing.

[30:03] >> Really? No. Wait a minute. He's He's not

[30:04] even three and he's not winding.

[30:06] >> He's got incredible balance. And what's

[30:08] fun with photos, you wouldn't be able to

[30:10] have the sun have sunglasses.

[30:12] >> And that's what you get with a

[30:13] caricature.

[30:14] >> Yeah, you're right.

[30:15] >> And then he's also a pool shark. He

[30:17] loves billiards.

[30:18] >> He's playing pool. And uh

[30:21] >> I make [applause]

[30:23] I pull in a third of my income by

[30:25] hanging out with bars in bars with my

[30:27] son. And we just hustle people.

[30:29] >> I, you know, I didn't re I didn't

[30:31] realize that because no one thinks a two

[30:33] and a half-year-old could play pool.

[30:34] >> Well, no, I exactly right. Yeah.

[30:35] >> And then we clean up. Sure. Now, uh I

[30:39] was I was talking about this uh uh

[30:40] movie, Stranger Fiction, and what a

[30:43] lovely film this is.

[30:45] >> Yeah. It's extraordinary.

[30:47] >> And and people said, "Well, is it

[30:48] funny?" And I said, "Yes, it it's funny,

[30:49] but I don't know that it's funny in the

[30:51] way that perhaps other movies you've

[30:53] done." It's uh it's funny, but it's also

[30:55] touching and uh emotional elements.

[30:57] >> Nice acting, beautifully written. And

[31:00] and Dustin Hoffman, who else is in the

[31:02] cast?

[31:02] >> Dustin Hoffman. Uh Emma Emma Thompson.

[31:04] >> Oh, yeah. Emma Thompson. Sure.

[31:05] >> Queen Latifah.

[31:07] >> Uh Maggie Gyllenhaal.

[31:09] >> Mhm. Oh, that's right.

[31:10] >> And uh Gary Muer.

[31:12] >> No, he's not. [laughter]

[31:13] >> I didn't see I saw the movie. I don't I

[31:15] don't remember seeing him.

[31:16] >> He might have gotten cut out.

[31:17] >> Oh, maybe he did.

[31:19] >> Uh

[31:20] >> he could have been in. He could have

[31:21] been nothing wrong with having him.

[31:23] >> I feel like he was in at the beginning.

[31:24] >> Well, maybe I don't know. I'll I'll look

[31:26] at it again.

[31:28] >> But the uh now I don't mean to I don't

[31:31] know how to say this exactly, but you

[31:32] got Dustin Hoffman, Academy Award

[31:34] winner. Emma Thompson, Academy Award

[31:36] winner. Queen Latifah nominated

[31:38] nominated for an Academy Award.

[31:40] Mu deer. Uh

[31:43] >> were you uh are you intimidated working

[31:45] with these people? I

[31:46] >> I was a little bit. Yeah, it felt like

[31:48] I'd joined like the Harlem Globe

[31:49] Troters. Like everyone can dribble

[31:51] behind their back and spin the ball and

[31:54] >> I just was, you know, didn't want to

[31:55] throw the ball out of bounds or uh

[31:58] >> Yeah, it's just incredible act. I was

[31:59] just trying to be helpful on the set

[32:01] like does anyone need a hot beverage? Uh

[32:05] >> Emma, they told me you need they need to

[32:07] move your car. Can I move it for you?

[32:10] >> You're blocking one of the equipment

[32:12] trucks. So

[32:13] >> now there's a scene in the film where

[32:15] you actually uh uh are have tears in

[32:17] your eyes. Your eyes are welling with

[32:19] tears.

[32:19] >> Yeah. I had to actually

[32:21] >> Now is that you crying or I had actually

[32:23] I actually had to to cry for an entire

[32:25] day which I'd never done before. Um on a

[32:28] movie right?

[32:28] >> Uh

[32:31] uh

[32:31] >> everything all right at home.

[32:32] >> Uh you know fair to Midland but uh

[32:36] >> but I [laughter] I've never done a scene

[32:38] like that. and and and Dustin was was

[32:40] actually kind of like a second director

[32:41] for me on the day. Very helpful. And and

[32:44] in in the course of doing a scene like

[32:45] that, you have to stay in that mood for

[32:48] the entire day. And you kind of go in

[32:49] and out. And so we were talking about

[32:51] things and at a certain point I said to

[32:52] him, "God, I wish my dad was here."

[32:55] >> And uh I started tearing up and Dustin

[32:57] was like, "Go roll the camera."

[32:59] >> Yeah.

[33:00] >> And then he he he left the set and he he

[33:02] told Mark, the director, guess what he

[33:04] just said? He just said he wishes his

[33:05] dad was here. And Mark starts crying and

[33:08] Dustin starts crying and the producer

[33:10] starts crying and the crew starts

[33:11] crying. Starts spreading around and

[33:13] Dustin comes to me. He's like, "When did

[33:15] he pass?" And I said, "Oh, no. He'll be

[33:18] here next week."

[33:21] >> I wish he could have come in a little

[33:22] early. I

[33:22] >> just think this would be so cool to

[33:24] watch you and I do a scene. [applause]

[33:29] >> Well, good. I'm glad he's certainly glad

[33:31] he's still alive.

[33:32] >> I guess I should have just lied. No,

[33:33] that's Have you ever just tried poking

[33:35] yourself in the eye just for a

[33:37] >> No. Works for me all the time. Uh oh.

[33:40] Let's show the folks a clip. Stranger

[33:43] Than Fiction. Tell us what we're going

[33:44] to see here.

[33:45] >> This is uh Well, basically I'm My

[33:47] character is hearing this voice which is

[33:49] narrating his life. And I' I've found

[33:51] out that I'm actually a character in the

[33:53] story. And Dustin, who's a professor of

[33:55] literature, is helping to figure out

[33:57] what kind of story it is. Right.

[33:58] >> Okay. Take a look. Will Frell, Dustin

[34:00] Hoffman, Stranger Then Fiction.

[34:04] On [snorts] a scale of 1 to 10, what

[34:06] would you consider the likelihood you

[34:07] might be assassinated?

[34:09] >> Assassinated?

[34:10] >> One being very unlikely, 10 being

[34:12] expecting it around every corner.

[34:15] >> I have no idea.

[34:16] >> I have a phrase.

[34:18] Are you the king of anything?

[34:21] >> Like what?

[34:22] >> Anything. King of the lanes at the local

[34:24] bowling alley.

[34:25] >> King of the lanes.

[34:26] >> King of the lanes. King of the trolls.

[34:29] Uh uh.

[34:30] >> King of the trolls.

[34:31] >> Yes. a a a a clandestine land found

[34:34] underneath your floorboards, you know.

[34:35] >> No.

[34:36] >> Huh?

[34:37] >> No, it's ridiculous.

[34:39] >> Agreed. Let's started ridiculous and

[34:41] move backwards.

[34:43] >> Speaking of the lane. Yeah. [applause]

[34:48] >> Yeah, it's great. Very uh very

[34:51] entertaining film and uh

[34:53] thoughtprovoking and uh just really very

[34:56] nicely done. Congratulations on that.

[34:58] Good for you. and and and will I

[35:00] understand. Is there a possibility of a

[35:03] little something special here tonight?

[35:04] >> Well, you know, I've got some other

[35:06] exciting news. Um, you know, a lot of

[35:08] times on Broadway, uh, they'll ask for

[35:11] Hollywood stars to come join a show to

[35:14] inject new life

[35:15] >> into it. And, uh,

[35:17] >> I'm going to be starring in Phantom of

[35:19] the Opera.

[35:20] >> Phantom of the Opera.

[35:21] >> Wow.

[35:22] >> Starting this weekend. Starting this

[35:24] weekend.

[35:25] >> Yeah. I didn't even know it was still

[35:26] running. Is it still running?

[35:27] >> It's still running. still running. Uh

[35:29] the problem is they really just throw

[35:30] you in. You only get like three

[35:32] rehearsals or something. Really? Yeah.

[35:34] And and I've only been to one of them.

[35:36] >> Uh are you are you comfortable?

[35:38] >> I'm comfortable. I I went I went to the

[35:39] show, you know, I saw the show I think I

[35:41] think 10 years ago and uh and I've got a

[35:44] great memory and I I had I have a lot of

[35:46] the memorabilia sweat coats and stuff.

[35:49] >> So, you should be ready to go.

[35:50] >> I should be good. I I don't have it

[35:52] totally down, but I would love to sing

[35:54] one of the songs for you.

[35:55] >> Oh, yeah. We'd love to hear it. What are

[35:56] we going to hear tonight?

[35:59] >> I don't know the name of it.

[36:00] >> Okay, good luck. Will Frell, ladies and

[36:02] gentlemen,

[36:08] [applause]

[36:12] slowly,

[36:15] gently,

[36:17] night uncurls it splendor.

[36:22] Grasp it. Sense it.

[36:27] Good night.

[36:31] Turn your face away

[36:34] from the garish light of day. Tell this

[36:38] mask is killing me.

[36:41] Hold on feeling light

[36:46] and listen to the music of the night.

[36:53] >> [music]

[36:59] >> I am the Phantom. My real name is Jerry.

[37:07] I'm really

[37:10] lonely.

[37:11] I'd love to have a girlfriend.

[37:16] Something happened to my face.

[37:20] That's why I wear a scary mask.

[37:24] And I think I take it [music] off, but I

[37:27] haven't read the rest of the script, so

[37:29] I don't know.

[37:34] Music of the [music]

[37:48] [applause]

[37:50] Just marvelous.

[37:53] >> Thank you, dude.

[37:54] >> God bless you.

[37:55] >> I'll get better.

[37:56] >> Oh, it was wonderful.

[37:58] >> Will Ferrell, ladies and gentlemen, the

[37:59] Phantom of the Opera. Thank you very

[38:02] much, Will. Good luck with your new

[38:04] baby. All right, we'll be right back

[38:06] with Jack Hannah. [music]

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[42:00] Uh, our next guest is director Ammeritus

[42:03] of the Columbus Zoo and the host of an

[42:05] upcoming new television series entitled

[42:07] Jack Hannah's Into the Wild. Ladies and

[42:09] gentlemen, here's the one, the only

[42:10] jungle Jack Hannah. [music]

[42:19] [applause]

[42:20] Hey, Dave.

[42:21] >> How are you?

[42:22] >> Pretty good.

[42:23] >> Nice to see you. Got my hands full of

[42:25] badges.

[42:26] >> Boy, look at that. That's a That's a uh

[42:28] >> You know what this is?

[42:28] >> It's a like a raccoon is what they

[42:30] >> It's not a raccoon.

[42:31] >> It's in a raccoon family, isn't it?

[42:33] >> No, it's in its own family. Badger

[42:34] family.

[42:34] >> It's in the bad. It's a badger. Whoa.

[42:36] >> I've never had a badger on.

[42:37] >> I've never I don't think I've ever seen

[42:38] a badger. They're fierce.

[42:39] >> You should see badgers. Badgers live out

[42:41] in Montana. Badgers live

[42:42] >> Oh, I don't think I've ever seen one

[42:43] like this.

[42:44] >> This is the largest carnivore in the

[42:45] United Kingdom.

[42:46] >> Whoa. But now this is not what we were

[42:48] talking about earlier, is it?

[42:49] >> No.

[42:50] >> No. Okay. What What's his name?

[42:53] >> Badger.

[42:54] >> Uh-huh.

[42:55] >> May I touch the animal? Yeah. Go ahead.

[42:56] >> Is he a fierce?

[42:57] >> The pound for pound. You know, you

[42:59] remember we used to talk about pound for

[43:00] pound with the uh wolverine.

[43:02] >> This is

[43:02] >> Oh, the fiercest animal in the world.

[43:04] Pound for pound.

[43:04] >> This is like you could say half pound

[43:05] for half pound.

[43:06] >> Yeah. That thing is the second fierce.

[43:07] >> What is his natural enemy? What's his uh

[43:09] >> uh prairie dog? No, not prairie dogs.

[43:12] Prairie dogs are his prey.

[43:13] >> Prey. Yeah. He eats a lot of prairie

[43:14] dogs.

[43:14] >> Eats a lot of prairie dogs. And so

[43:16] you're happy for Well, you're not happy

[43:17] for that because of poor prairie dogs.

[43:18] >> Well, I don't.

[43:19] >> It gets rid of the holes the prairie

[43:20] dogs make.

[43:21] >> Yeah. Right.

[43:21] >> And they can really dig fast. They carry

[43:23] tuberculosis.

[43:24] >> The prairie dogs do. No, the the badger.

[43:27] >> Oh, he he just he just nipped you at a

[43:29] at a like a vein in your like an artery.

[43:32] >> Hey, Tom lunged at your arteries.

[43:34] >> I know that. I want Tom. You mean I got

[43:35] be bitten by a beaver on your show. I

[43:37] remember that. Bitten by

[43:38] >> It was our darkest hour.

[43:39] >> No.

[43:41] >> No. I'll let you. I'm going to be

[43:43] careful. I don't Badgers are

[43:44] >> Now, you know, you bring up a

[43:47] hi. Hi.

[43:48] >> He knows what he's knows what he's

[43:49] doing. He's all right.

[43:50] >> Yeah.

[43:50] >> Yep.

[43:51] >> Uh this bird here. Hello.

[43:53] >> Hi. This is a bird. Yeah.

[43:55] >> Okay.

[43:56] >> How are you? Now,

[43:56] >> this this is the Knoxville. I was raised

[43:58] in Tennessee, by the way. This bird has

[44:00] more words than you probably know.

[44:02] >> What kind of bird is that?

[44:03] >> African great parrot.

[44:04] >> You're saying that that bird has a

[44:05] larger vocabulary than I do?

[44:07] >> Yeah. No, I'm not saying that. I'm just

[44:09] looking at the words. See those?

[44:10] >> He knows all those words.

[44:11] >> You know those words?

[44:11] >> All quiz me.

[44:13] >> Okay.

[44:15] >> Let me see.

[44:16] >> Okay. Okay. Okay. Meal.

[44:19] >> Meal. Meal. Yes, I know that.

[44:23] >> What it was? No. What? He burps. You say

[44:26] meal. You stop it. Okay. Okay. Go. Go

[44:30] ahead.

[44:31] >> No, I just

[44:33] >> Can you do me?

[44:34] >> Neil.

[44:35] >> Well, what is your name? Einstein.

[44:36] >> Her name is Einstein. Einstein. And she

[44:38] did flying all the way from Tennessee.

[44:40] >> Tennessee.

[44:41] >> That's right.

[44:44] >> And she is a huge fan of you. You think

[44:45] he's famous?

[44:46] >> Superstar.

[44:47] >> Superstar.

[44:49] >> Superstar. I had a parent like this once

[44:51] in 1973. My wife was naked. come

[44:53] downstairs and and it was amazing. We

[44:56] didn't know the parrot said things and

[44:57] my parent goes, "What did the light?

[44:58] What did the light?" Scared her pants

[45:00] off.

[45:02] >> No, it's true story.

[45:03] >> Yeah. Go ahead.

[45:05] >> What the hell is going on at your house?

[45:07] >> All right. All right.

[45:08] >> Thank you very much. Nice meeting you at

[45:10] the beautiful.

[45:11] >> Time to go. Bye-bye. There you go.

[45:13] >> Knockville. Oh, [applause]

[45:16] >> there you go.

[45:18] >> Oh. Whoa. Look out.

[45:19] >> That's okay. That's okay. Easy. D. Look

[45:21] at these. Hold these nuts.

[45:22] >> Okay.

[45:25] What do you got here? I've never seen

[45:27] anything.

[45:27] >> No, you never seen these before. I've

[45:28] never seen that. No, this is these are

[45:30] pygmy marmisettes that were marmicetses.

[45:32] >> No, not pygmy. I'm sorry. Regular

[45:33] marmisettes from Brazil.

[45:34] >> Say that again. Marmicet.

[45:36] >> You've heard of marmisettes, haven't

[45:37] you? Marmicets. Marmet. The smallest

[45:39] marmmaet.

[45:40] >> Set.

[45:41] >> Yeah. Marmicet. Marmicet.

[45:42] >> Marmicet.

[45:43] >> Marmicet.

[45:45] >> Excuse me. Marmicet.

[45:46] >> Marmos.

[45:46] >> No, it's Marmos.

[45:47] >> Oh god.

[45:48] >> It's a small monkey.

[45:49] >> Okay.

[45:50] >> It's a small monkey. Anyway, a small.

[45:51] Aren't they neat looking?

[45:52] >> Beautiful.

[45:53] >> They're from the rainforest. These were

[45:54] confiscated, so people should not ever

[45:55] have these as pets, by the way. And And

[45:57] these are This is Head and Shoulders,

[45:59] >> right?

[46:00] >> Is their names.

[46:01] >> And And they should jump on you. For

[46:03] some reason, they're supposed to There

[46:04] we go. Oh, he likes you now.

[46:06] >> Ain't that neat? Look at that.

[46:07] >> Is he up there?

[46:08] >> Oh, both of them are up there now.

[46:10] >> Are the shots Are the shots up to date

[46:12] and everything?

[46:12] >> Yeah, they're shot up. But these Dave

[46:16] No,

[46:18] Dave, this animal's in this animal lives

[46:19] in a rainforest. All right. They're

[46:21] pollinators, which means they go to the

[46:23] bathroom and pollinate seeds from trees

[46:25] and stuff.

[46:26] >> Why? Why am I holding the the party the

[46:28] trail mix? Why?

[46:30] Doesn't seem to be interested in it. Do

[46:32] I have two back there or not?

[46:33] >> You do? Yeah.

[46:33] >> Okay.

[46:34] >> Here they Here, I'll bring one around

[46:35] this side. Can you see them?

[46:36] >> No, I can't. Jack, they're in the back

[46:38] of my head.

[46:40] That's a good No, I meant the other

[46:41] people. Other people at home see them.

[46:43] >> Do you want to turn backwards so they

[46:45] can see them?

[46:45] >> Reminds me of the time I saw your wife

[46:46] coming down the stairs naked.

[46:51] No, [applause]

[46:52] >> the reason I the reason I don't know

[46:54] much about these animals cuz the this

[46:55] other animal is really big. It's got me

[46:57] nervous.

[46:57] >> You go and put one in my ear there,

[46:58] Jack. That's fine. Just stick it right

[46:59] in my ear.

[47:02] >> Are those neat or what? They're Look at

[47:03] the haircuts.

[47:04] >> Yeah, they're nice. Yeah,

[47:05] >> pretty good, aren't they?

[47:06] >> Have you ever had a piggy set or you

[47:07] never had Well, no, you shouldn't have

[47:09] one.

[47:09] >> But what about the toupe? That's a

[47:10] pretty good looking tupe, isn't it? When

[47:12] you get a good shot of that. Look at

[47:13] that. Looks like the real thing, doesn't

[47:14] it?

[47:16] >> I'm losing my hair, too.

[47:18] >> Yeah. Okay. Okay. Now, now he's digging

[47:19] in.

[47:19] >> No, no, no.

[47:22] >> Okay. Now, Jack, we have something the

[47:24] biggest animal in the in the of its kind

[47:26] in the world.

[47:27] >> You want us more words?

[47:28] >> No, [laughter] we don't. We'll be right

[47:30] back. Are we going to look at it now?

[47:32] >> You won't believe this.

[47:33] >> We can't look at it now. This takes a

[47:34] long time.

[47:34] >> All right. We come back and take a look

[47:36] at this.

[47:36] >> Unbelievable. [applause]

[47:38] [music]

[47:46] >> They say we're young. [music] We

[47:48] [singing] don't know. Won't find out

[47:50] until we grow. Well, I don't know

[47:54] [music] if all that's true. You got me,

[47:58] [singing] baby. I got you.

[48:05] I got [music] you, babe.

[48:06] >> The surprisingly big 37 MPGon Chevy AO.

[48:11] That's an American revolution.

[48:13] >> Bottom of the ninth inning, a tie score.

[48:17] >> [cheering]

[48:18] >> Hard hit to left field. Is it a foul

[48:20] ball? It's

[48:21] >> your call. Fair foul.

[48:22] >> Need a moment.

[48:25] >> I think he's single. HOME RUN.

[48:26] >> SHOOT OVER with tricks.

[48:28] >> When you want the best.

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[48:42] DVD tomorrow. Next on the Late Late

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[48:51] What if he got the wrong

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[53:20] >> Wednesday on a new Jericho.

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[53:34] >> You want to live? Stand up and fight.

[53:37] >> Jericho. A new episode. CBS Wednesday.

[53:46] Woo! Woo! See, kids, isn't this better

[53:49] than flying?

[53:50] >> Yeah. Look, Vagabonds.

[53:52] >> Couldn't you use your credit card miles,

[53:54] huh?

[53:54] >> Yeah, they blacked us out.

[53:56] >> You should switch to Capital One.

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[54:13] OOH.

[54:13] >> What's in your wallet?

[54:22] Oh. Oh my god. [applause]

[54:25] Oh, Jack. Oh my god.

[54:29] >> Whoa. Jack.

[54:30] >> Dave.

[54:31] >> Whoa.

[54:31] >> Dave, move your banana.

[54:33] >> Huh?

[54:33] >> Move your banana.

[54:34] >> Oh my god. Oh, where do you want the

[54:37] snake? Just put it here.

[54:39] >> Now, Dave.

[54:40] >> Oh my god.

[54:41] >> This is Monty Python. You better move

[54:42] your coffee.

[54:43] >> Okay. I can't do everything.

[54:49] [laughter]

[54:50] >> Hold this. Hold this tail here.

[54:51] >> I don't want to hold it. Well,

[54:53] >> look at the size of that. What does he

[54:54] weigh? Jack,

[54:55] >> this one weigh part of him is is sagging

[54:56] over here. I'll pull the chair. Can I

[54:58] get you a chair there,

[55:00] >> Dave? Look at this here. I'm sorry. My

[55:01] back's the camera. Look at this.

[55:02] >> Be careful, Jack. He's going to tumble

[55:04] off of there.

[55:05] >> He's not going to do anything. Look at

[55:07] this. This This These had babies. Look

[55:09] at this.

[55:10] >> Neither what?

[55:11] >> Oh my god.

[55:12] >> Dave, come here. You can hold them.

[55:13] >> I don't care to, Jack. That's There's

[55:15] something about a sack full of snakes

[55:17] that

[55:18] >> it was hard. The airlines won't fly them

[55:20] anymore because of that dumb movie

[55:22] snakes.

[55:23] >> Yeah.

[55:24] >> Look at this. Look at those, Dave. Look.

[55:26] Are you looking?

[55:26] >> I'm looking at them, Jack. I want to see

[55:28] this. Like this. Now, how do how do

[55:29] these these are the guys that Are these

[55:31] the constrictors? These pipes?

[55:32] >> Yes. They they bite you 200 teeth and

[55:34] they grab you and then they turn Oh, you

[55:36] won't believe this, Dave. You speaking

[55:37] about big snakes. You think this big

[55:38] one, don't you?

[55:39] >> Well, yes.

[55:39] >> This is the big one.

[55:40] >> You're kidding me. I got the world's

[55:42] largest snake.

[55:42] >> THIS IS NOT THE BIG SNAKE.

[55:43] >> NO, this is the big snake right here.

[55:45] >> Oh, for the love of God. I was I was

[55:48] doomed.

[55:48] >> You won't believe this snake.

[55:49] >> Oh my god. You

[55:53] >> This thing snake.

[55:55] [cheering]

[55:58] >> Dave, come here. You better stand.

[56:00] Where? Yeah, I'll

[56:02] >> Oh, don't drop the uh

[56:04] >> No, you won't drop.

[56:05] >> How old is that snake?

[56:07] >> Dave, you will not. This is the biggest

[56:09] snake we know in the world. How how old

[56:10] do you think he is, Jack?

[56:12] >> He's old.

[56:13] >> Yeah. How How long How long is that?

[56:15] >> Oh, I think it's 24 ft long. 304 lbs.

[56:17] Depending on what he eats.

[56:19] >> How many pounds did you say?

[56:20] >> 304.

[56:20] >> 304. How often do they eat?

[56:22] >> Hey, Dave, take your shoes off a minute.

[56:23] >> Why? Why?

[56:26] >> I'm just joking. I got you. Cuz

[56:29] they [applause]

[56:31] How is that a joke?

[56:32] >> Because they don't like to eat they

[56:34] don't like to eat animals with shoes.

[56:35] >> Oh, I see. That's pretty funny.

[56:37] >> Yeah, it's hilarious.

[56:40] J, you can touch him. Touch. Feel the

[56:42] power.

[56:42] >> But how often do they eat, Jack?

[56:43] >> Feel the power.

[56:44] >> How often, Jack?

[56:46] >> They can go up to one year without ever

[56:47] eating.

[56:47] >> Is that right?

[56:48] >> One year.

[56:48] >> Whoa.

[56:49] >> Yeah. When they eat, they they grab you

[56:51] and then and they got 200 teeth. And

[56:53] they they they can't let go once they

[56:54] grab you and then they circle around you

[56:56] and squeeze you. And

[56:57] >> And where was this found? Was it found

[56:59] this size or was this raised in

[57:00] captivity?

[57:01] >> Oklahoma.

[57:04] >> I mean, it's not from native to

[57:05] Oklahoma.

[57:05] >> No. No. No. No. But was it was it raised

[57:07] from a small snake?

[57:08] >> Oh, that's Bob right here. Bob Clark.

[57:10] >> Hi, Bob.

[57:10] >> The world's most noted herpatologist in

[57:13] the world. He raises more of these

[57:14] snakes than anybody.

[57:15] >> Wow.

[57:16] >> If you want one for your son,

[57:18] >> you did a nice did a nice job here, Bob.

[57:20] [applause]

[57:21] >> Daddy, feel it. You got to feel the

[57:23] power.

[57:23] >> Are they Are these Paul expensive? All

[57:26] >> expensive. He won't sell this thing for

[57:28] you. Off him a million dollar. He won't

[57:29] sell.

[57:29] >> Oh my god. That's just bizarre, isn't

[57:32] it?

[57:32] >> Oh god. WHOA.

[57:37] I I knew that. I wasn't brave. I knew

[57:42] I wasn't afraid. I wasn't afraid. You

[57:43] weren't Yes, you were. You were scared.

[57:45] Silly. No. You thought it was going to

[57:47] go up your pants, didn't you, Jack?

[57:50] >> Well, I've just never seen anything like

[57:52] >> No, I just want you to appreciate this.

[57:53] >> Now, will this get larger? Will this

[57:54] snake get any bigger?

[57:56] >> What

[57:56] >> I say?

[57:58] Will this snake get any bigger?

[57:59] >> Oh, he'll get bigger. This snake can

[58:01] maybe go up to 30, 40 feet.

[58:03] >> Really? Maybe. And and how old is it

[58:05] now?

[58:05] >> It's only 18. This thing be

[58:07] >> And how long will they will they live?

[58:08] >> 50, right, Bob?

[58:10] >> The record for pythons just a couple

[58:11] months short of 50.

[58:12] >> Where do where do you keep them? What do

[58:14] you I mean, where what what kind of a

[58:15] >> his house?

[58:16] >> Keeps them in his house.

[58:18] >> Don't you get in your house?

[58:18] >> No, I've got a warehouse.

[58:20] >> Oh, he's got a warehouse. Got a

[58:22] warehouse. Keeps the snakes at a

[58:23] warehouse.

[58:24] >> Hey, Paul, you want to touch the snake?

[58:26] >> No, that's I'm I'm good. [laughter]

[58:32] Boy, I this is just Doesn't this excite

[58:34] you?

[58:34] >> Yes, it does, Jack.

[58:37] >> Like when I saw your wife coming down

[58:38] the stairs.

[58:41] [applause]

[58:41] >> Well, Jack, thank you very much. Jack

[58:43] Hannah, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be

[58:45] right back, everybody. [music]

[58:50] [applause]

[58:54] >> I understand double O's have a very

[58:55] short life expectancy. On November 17th,

[58:58] discover how James became Bond.

[59:04] Casino Royale, rated PG-13. When I got

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[59:28] need. I just know [music] she cares

[59:30] about getting us all home safe.

[59:33] >> I'm Darlene Hulie and I approve this

[59:35] message.

[59:41] >> A set budget works great when there's

[59:43] enough to go around,

[59:47] but what do you do when the unexpected

[59:49] happens and you need [music] funding?

[59:56] Something's [music] got to give.

[59:58] Measures 41 and 48 don't target

[60:01] government waste and can't fully fund

[60:03] public services. Measures 41 and 48 are

[60:06] a bad idea.

[60:07] >> He brought our schools back from the

[60:08] worst funding crisis in decades. Move

[60:11] millions [music] of dollars from

[60:12] administrative overhead into the

[60:14] classroom and increase college

[60:15] scholarships 30%. Ted Kolangoski. Nobody

[60:19] [music] fights harder to improve our

[60:21] schools. His education enterprise plan

[60:23] will mean smaller class sizes, better

[60:25] teacher training, and up-to-date

[60:27] textbooks. [music] And it'll finally

[60:29] guarantee stable funding for schools.

[60:31] Ted Kongoski. Other politicians get more

[60:34] attention, but [music] no governor gets

[60:36] more done. My dad gave me this when I

[60:39] first went to work with him. He was a

[60:41] real craftsman. But he'd be the first to

[60:43] tell you, if you're going to frame a

[60:44] house, get one of these. Times change.

[60:47] That's why I got a Toyota Tundra. And

[60:50] right now, you can get $2,500 cash back

[60:52] on this incredibly powerful truck. Or

[60:54] you can choose 1.9% APR financing for 60

[60:57] months. A great deal either way. Don't

[61:00] you think it's time to upgrade? [music]

[61:02] Look into a Tundra. Toyota, the smart

[61:04] way to keep moving forward.

[61:08] >> One of these letters is dangerous

[61:10] because it's the governmentmandated

[61:11] notice of a teen's pregnancy being

[61:13] delivered to an abusive [music] parent.

[61:15] Measure 43 sets up an automatic required

[61:18] notification to parents with no [music]

[61:20] exceptions for rape or even incest. It

[61:23] puts at risk teens in greater danger. No

[61:26] counseling, [music]

[61:27] no protection, just an impersonal and

[61:30] dangerous letter sent in the mail.

[61:32] Measure 43. [music] It's not so simple

[61:35] and it's definitely not safe.

[61:38] >> The coin 6 athlete of the week honoring

[61:40] this week's outstanding student athlete.

[61:42] Chosen every Thursday on Coin 6 at 6.

[61:44] sponsored by OHSU Sports Medicine. To

[61:46] find an OHSU Sports Medicine doctor, go

[61:49] to our [music] website or call 4946400.

[61:57] [music]

[62:05] The snake. That's right. The snake. Al

[62:08] Wilson. The snake. [cheering]

[62:11] >> Bye. Yeah, thanks Jack Hannah, Will

[62:13] Frell, Britney Spears, Lance Armstrong,

[62:15] and Fluffy.

[62:17] Have a lovely evening. Enjoy voting.

[62:19] Thanks for being here. Good night,

[62:20] everybody. [music]

[62:28] [music]

[62:30] Stop calling.