The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn (CBS) - 2001-01-04 (partial)

Channel: malgent

Transcript

Language: English (original, Whisper AI)

[0:00] Shirley Hancock, only on Coin 6 News.

[0:02] He will make the difference.

[0:13] Love the gorgeous Hollywood Hills in beautiful, sunny, warm Los Angeles, California.

[0:21] It's the Late Late Show with Craig Kilburn.

[0:24] Hey, hey.

[0:28] Ladies and gentlemen, look, look, it's Craig Kilburn.

[0:59] Thank you, thank you very much.

[1:01] Nice to see you.

[1:08] Welcome to your Late Late Show.

[1:10] My name is Craig Kilburn.

[1:12] Listen to this.

[1:13] This is my buddy, and it kind of bothers me.

[1:15] The tabloids reporting some nasty rumors about Mr. Bob Barker.

[1:18] They're saying in the tabloids that he's a cheap bastard.

[1:24] Let me tell you something else about Barker you might not want to hear, okay?

[1:28] He hogs the covers.

[1:31] It really...

[1:36] I'm opening up here.

[1:40] Today, here in California, the Disneyland in California forced to stop selling tickets because the line's longer than ever.

[1:49] And I should point out to the audience here, this is not Space Mountain.

[1:54] Okay, you're not.

[1:58] I know where you are.

[2:03] Publishing news.

[2:03] Jerry Springer is following in the footsteps of Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah.

[2:06] He's coming out with his own Jerry Springer magazine.

[2:10] Finally, a magazine for people who can't read.

[2:13] Isn't that nice?

[2:15] Right?

[2:17] Thank you, Jerry.

[2:23] And finally, in a recent interview, this is kind of nice.

[2:26] Jennifer Lopez says she'd rather be known for being sexy than being intelligent.

[2:34] I got some bad news for you, Jennifer.

[2:36] You're known for having a big ass, okay?

[2:38] Come on.

[2:39] Thanks.

[2:49] I don't throw around the word hero that often.

[2:53] Big show tonight.

[2:54] He's here.

[2:55] Dick Clark is here.

[3:04] From the movie, from the TV show.

[3:06] From the new TV show, Ed Act.

[3:10] Tom Cavanaugh is here.

[3:15] And the music of Lifehouse.

[3:17] Lifehouse.

[3:24] Late, late show is starting now.

[3:36] Oh, we're excited.

[3:38] We're all fired up, aren't we?

[3:39] So the other day, New Year's Eve, we talked about...

[3:44] What?

[3:45] I haven't done anything.

[3:46] I haven't said anything yet.

[3:53] Felt good.

[3:54] I don't know.

[3:56] I talked about a New Year's resolution, but I don't do those things.

[3:59] So I talked about a goal for 2001, and I don't know if you're familiar with this thing in

[4:04] New York and L.A.

[4:06] I don't say the word.

[4:07] It's the V monologues.

[4:09] You know, the V-A-G-I-N-A, V-A-G...

[4:11] However you spell it.

[4:13] I'm very uncomfortable with that word, but I want to be the first man to perform in the

[4:19] V monologues.

[4:19] That's my goal.

[4:29] Because I believe it combines two things I'm very good at.

[4:36] Now, listen to the names.

[4:38] This is true.

[4:38] These are these three...

[4:39] I think it's a three-part...

[4:40] Three women, three actresses perform the V monologues.

[4:44] And again, they don't say that.

[4:46] I'm the only one that says it.

[4:46] They actually say the word.

[4:47] It rhymes with China.

[4:50] They say it.

[4:53] Let's see.

[4:54] Diane Carroll, Claire Danes, Calista Flockhart, Gina Gershon.

[4:59] There's one you might want to...

[5:00] Yeah, that's...

[5:02] All of the...

[5:03] I mean, Amy Irving, Terry Hatcher, Melissa Joan Hart, Swoozie Kurtz, they've all performed.

[5:09] And I want to be the first man to do it.

[5:12] Now, I don't know that much about what they do.

[5:15] I haven't researched it that much.

[5:16] I'm kind of lazy.

[5:19] I think they talk about women's stuff.

[5:22] Okay, because I'm going to audition for them in a few weeks if I have time.

[5:25] That's because, you know, that's my goal.

[5:27] But I believe they talk about women's stuff like, oh, flowers.

[5:34] I think they talk about facials.

[5:38] Lighting candles.

[5:41] They probably talk a lot about listening.

[5:47] Empathy.

[5:50] And they probably talk about Haagen-Dazs.

[5:54] So, in the next few weeks, I'm going to learn more about, I hope that's what they talk about, but I'm going to learn more about it.

[5:58] And I may audition for the...

[6:01] Maybe that's what I should call it.

[6:02] The vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

[6:29] Hello, love. Would you like something sweeter than, maybe later, something naughty?

[6:35] Hello, love.

[6:39] And that was Craig Gilborn, man of 537 faces, number 427, the somewhat sophisticated British womanizer.

[6:54] Let's check the news. Here we go.

[7:00] In the News is brought to you by Clogs. Thanks for having us back. See you in another 10 years.

[7:10] Our top story. Rumors are flying that Iraqi President Saddam Hussein may have had a stroke and even died three days ago.

[7:19] Hussein reportedly suffered a stroke when he learned some guy married Madonna.

[7:26] Good job.

[7:30] Should Saddam be unable to continue in office, one of his sons will probably replace him.

[7:34] It might be Saddam Jr.

[7:37] Or it might be wacky Uncle Nick.

[7:44] That is, uh, that's a tough call. That's a tough one. Maybe we should send that over to the Florida legislator to help out, huh?

[7:55] Earlier in the week, uh, and this is true, Saddam had attempted to prove he was in good health by firing 146 shots into the air.

[8:07] Saddam, uh, Saddam's fine, yeah, but about 146 people in the crowd weren't feeling so good.

[8:20] Um, I think I speak for all Americans when I say, get well soon, Saddam, we're all pulling for you.

[8:28] Well, yesterday, CBS introduced to America the 16 new castaways for Survivor 2.

[8:35] Ah, yes, the crazy person, the sexy person, the crazy person, and the crazy person.

[8:43] Um, personally, I'm putting all my money on this contestant.

[8:48] I made more felony arrests than my male counterparts and acquired the nickname of Mad Dog.

[9:00] I love you, Mom, and you're going all the way.

[9:12] Other contestants are optimistic about their fellow travelers.

[9:17] I thought, you know, if you can kick off all the mean, hateful, snotty, nasty people,

[9:21] then you're just left with all the good, happy, fun people.

[9:29] Two weeks later, she was wearing a necklace of human ears.

[9:34] And I think the baby's kicking news, six-year-old California Nicholas Coletta is already an accomplished black belt in karate and a world champion.

[9:43] Wow, nice moves. Too bad any eight-year-old girl could wipe your ass.

[9:55] Yeah, Nicholas spent his entire childhood practicing karate on the downside, he can't write, read, or speak.

[10:07] His first order of business as the world champ will be beating the tar out of this guy.

[10:23] You know, no, I was thinking about something.

[10:25] I remember my parents wouldn't allow me to take karate.

[10:28] They said it was too dangerous.

[10:30] Uh, they did, however, let me train to be a geisha.

[10:35] And, uh, in a related story, happy 52nd birthday to child star Ralph Macchio.

[10:41] You're still the best around, buddy.

[10:48] In economic news, financial markets around the world are on the rebound after a surprising half-point interest rate cut by Fed Chairman Alec Greenspan yesterday.

[10:57] Greenspan decided dramatic action was needed to save the economy after a meeting with George W. Bush and, well, meeting with George W. Bush.

[11:13] To put everything into terms we can all understand, please welcome Late Late Show stock market expert, Mr. Steve Barker is right here.

[11:27] Steve, with all the craziness going on in the stock market, investors want to know what should they do?

[11:34] I don't know.

[11:35] Panic, I guess.

[11:39] Steve Barker, everybody.

[11:45] And, uh...

[11:52] And welcome to the Dolls House News.

[11:55] Yesterday was the first day of the 107th Congress, and New York's new Senator Hillary Clinton was sworn in by none other than Al Gore.

[12:03] Hey, it's over, Al.

[12:04] Let it go, buddy, okay?

[12:07] Hillary's first order of business will be finding out where the hell New York is.

[12:14] It's, uh...

[12:16] It is Thursday, and time now for the, I'm going to have to start carrying a purse to hold all the stuff you don't want to put in your purse,

[12:23] and that's just wrong portion of the show.

[12:26] You know, I'm going to have to start carrying a purse to hold all the stuff you don't want to put in your purse,

[12:30] and that is just wrong.

[12:35] Finally.

[12:42] And finally, a Y2K bug has hit 7-Eleven stores, causing their computers to believe the year is 1901.

[12:51] The good news is, the hot dogs are fresh.

[12:55] Here's your news right back with Dick Clark.

[13:02] Stick around.

[13:03] Bandstand legend Dick Clark is next.

[13:09] The Late Late Show with Craig Kilbourne.

[13:12] Sponsored by Capital One.

[13:14] Capital One.

[13:15] What's in your wallet?

[13:22] You wouldn't believe the sales.

[13:24] I hope you didn't put all those in the credit card.

[13:27] Yeah, why?

[13:29] Those interest charges are really funny, can't I say?

[13:31] Don't worry.

[13:33] I used our new Capital One card.

[13:35] It's interest-free.

[13:39] To the neighbors!

[13:41] If you had a new Capital One card, all your purchases would be interest-free until July 2001.

[13:46] We've got to tell Bob and Carol about Capital One.

[13:49] What's in your wallet?

[13:51] Do you know what people are most afraid of?

[13:53] A legend.

[13:54] What they don't understand.

[13:55] Who turned his back on the world.

[13:57] If I ask you not to say anything to anybody.

[14:00] An athlete with a hidden gift.

[14:03] And if I ask you to keep helping me with my writing.

[14:05] Together, they will challenge each other.

[14:07] Perhaps you'll amaze even me.

[14:09] And change the system.

[14:11] From the director of Good Will Hunting, Sean Connery.

[14:14] You're the man now, dog.

[14:16] Finding Forrester.

[14:17] Rated PG-13.

[14:19] Now playing in select cities.

[14:20] Starts January 12th everywhere.

[14:24] Go!

[14:33] Give it to me, baby.

[14:43] Just give it to me, baby.

[14:49] Give it to me, baby.

[14:51] At the People's Choice Awards, your book counts.

[14:54] Join your favorite stars to find out who will take home the ultimate prize.

[14:58] On the People's Choice.

[15:00] CBS Sunday.

[15:01] Do not pay till 2002.

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[15:37] Contemporary sofa, $3.99.

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[15:52] Four-poster bed, $288.

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[15:58] You always save money at City Liquidators.

[16:03] Imagine seeing your world like this every day.

[16:06] More than a million school children whose parents can't afford eye care

[16:09] live their lives in a world out of focus.

[16:13] Sight for Students, a vision service plan program

[16:15] in partnership with the Entertainment Industry Foundation

[16:18] is helping to bring the world into focus for thousands of qualified children.

[16:23] If you know a child who can benefit from the program,

[16:25] call the toll-free number or visit the website.

[16:28] Share the vision.

[16:43] Welcome back.

[16:46] We're going to have the legend Dick Clark coming out in moments.

[16:48] Then it's Tom Cavanaugh from NBC's ad in the music of Lifehouse.

[16:52] Later, Friday, tomorrow, Kevin James, the king of Queens, vitamin C.

[17:00] Female.

[17:03] There's a person.

[17:04] There's not a group.

[17:05] There's a vitamin C.

[17:06] Actress, rapper, I believe.

[17:08] There you go.

[17:10] And the music of Collective Soul.

[17:12] That's Friday on your Late Late Show.

[17:17] Our first cast tonight is a TV legend.

[17:20] Not only was he the host of American Bandstand and TV's bloopers and practical jokes,

[17:23] but he's also a successful producer.

[17:25] His latest show, yes, this is his show, the American Music Awards.

[17:29] That's Dick Clark's show.

[17:31] Airs next Monday on ABC.

[17:32] Here he is, Mr. Dick Clark.

[17:39] Airs next Monday on ABC.

[18:04] What did you do?

[18:05] Huh?

[18:05] What did you do to that audience?

[18:08] What are you telling me?

[18:09] We're all going to get an extra $10 or something like that?

[18:12] That was more than $10.

[18:14] That was...

[18:17] Hey, um...

[18:18] Thank you.

[18:18] You are...

[18:19] But thank you for New Year's.

[18:21] Thanks.

[18:21] You do it every year.

[18:22] Were you sitting somewhere warm and cozy?

[18:24] Yes.

[18:25] While I'm freezing my tail off out there?

[18:27] I am, yeah.

[18:27] I actually worry.

[18:28] 29 years I've been out there, and people always say,

[18:31] What are you going to do on New Year's?

[18:32] They say,

[18:33] What have you been living behind a rock or something?

[18:36] Yeah, you do.

[18:37] You're important, aren't you?

[18:38] Oh, yes.

[18:39] Huh?

[18:40] Now, what...

[18:41] Do you know in the art world,

[18:42] you know, if that poster was important,

[18:44] you know what that means?

[18:45] What?

[18:45] Big bucks.

[18:46] Yeah, yeah.

[18:47] But they gave you...

[18:48] Don't ever buy anything important.

[18:51] If the guy with the little skinny tie and the thing says,

[18:53] There's an important piece.

[18:54] I mean, this...

[18:55] Yeah.

[18:56] This is important.

[18:57] You say,

[18:58] That's about a buck and a half important.

[18:59] It means it's worth $10.

[19:01] Oh, it's...

[19:02] A little tip from the legend right there.

[19:04] So be careful.

[19:05] Did they give you...

[19:10] They gave you more time this year in New York.

[19:13] Yeah.

[19:13] Because last year was the millennium

[19:14] and they gave Peter Jennings all this time, right?

[19:16] Peter said it was an opportunity of a lifetime for him.

[19:19] I said,

[19:19] Peter,

[19:19] I've been out there for 20...

[19:21] At that point,

[19:21] 27 years for his...

[19:22] It's an opportunity of a lifetime for me.

[19:25] But, no,

[19:26] they were very nice.

[19:26] They let me drop the ball last year

[19:28] and then they gave us three and a half hours this year.

[19:30] Yeah, three and a half.

[19:30] Did well.

[19:31] Yeah, yeah.

[19:32] That's great, isn't it?

[19:33] You know what I worry about?

[19:35] Are we...

[19:35] Can I say how old you are or not?

[19:37] What the hell kind of questions are there?

[19:40] Woo!

[19:47] See the guy over there with the short sleeves?

[19:48] I mean,

[19:49] he's obviously got a few miles on him.

[19:51] I don't want to look at him.

[19:51] Would you say to that guy,

[19:52] how old are you?

[19:53] No.

[20:05] Unfortunately,

[20:05] when I was younger,

[20:07] I had one of those little sheets made up

[20:09] and it said birthday

[20:09] and I put my real birthday on it.

[20:11] Yeah.

[20:12] November 30th, 1929.

[20:13] That makes me 71.

[20:14] You're 71?

[20:15] Yeah.

[20:15] So there's no secret about it.

[20:17] Are you in shock?

[20:18] No.

[20:18] Well, yes.

[20:20] Here's the thing.

[20:21] My dad is in his mid-60s

[20:23] Yeah.

[20:23] And he doesn't...

[20:24] I get worried.

[20:25] I worry about guys who are that age

[20:27] moving around.

[20:28] Like, I worry about him going to the garage.

[20:30] You know?

[20:31] I worry about...

[20:32] Now, you're in your 70s.

[20:33] I go to the garage every day.

[20:35] I get in my car and I drive.

[20:37] This is not unusual.

[20:38] How old are you?

[20:39] I'm 38,

[20:40] but I can play 28 if I have to.

[20:43] Well, my point is...

[20:46] There actually is a point here.

[20:47] I worry about...

[20:49] There was a coach,

[20:50] Chuck Daly,

[20:50] in the NBA.

[20:51] He was in the 60s.

[20:52] And I worry,

[20:52] when you're around all that stuff,

[20:54] that you guys might get hurt.

[20:55] You know?

[20:55] Like, you know...

[20:56] You mean like a football player

[20:57] would run into?

[20:58] Yeah.

[20:58] I don't have that problem.

[21:00] But no rough house out in Times Square?

[21:03] Well, no.

[21:04] I could be hit by a car or something,

[21:07] but, you know,

[21:07] I don't put myself...

[21:08] I don't ski.

[21:10] I don't like sports

[21:11] where they have an ambulance

[21:12] at the bottom of the hill.

[21:14] Right.

[21:15] So you're healthy.

[21:16] I don't jump out of airplanes.

[21:17] I try to avoid things like that.

[21:19] That's...

[21:20] Okay.

[21:20] Are you...

[21:20] Do you exercise?

[21:21] Do you watch your diet?

[21:23] I grudgingly spend about

[21:24] a half an hour a day exercising.

[21:26] What are you doing there?

[21:27] I got that, you know,

[21:29] that artificial walking machine

[21:30] and the stair climber

[21:32] and I lift 10 pounds...

[21:33] What are they?

[21:34] Say 20.

[21:37] Just say 20.

[21:38] Dick Clark does 20.

[21:39] No, it's 30 pounds

[21:40] out of the 15-pound weights

[21:42] and that's enough

[21:43] to keep you limber.

[21:44] Yeah.

[21:45] And what about your diet?

[21:47] I need to know, Dick,

[21:48] because you look good.

[21:49] You look good.

[21:55] You fried foods,

[21:57] you avoid fried foods.

[21:59] Let me give you

[22:00] a little tip here.

[22:01] Okay.

[22:01] Two things.

[22:02] Here,

[22:02] I'm here to plug

[22:03] a television show.

[22:04] You've got to get to that.

[22:05] We're going to get

[22:05] to all that crap.

[22:05] I know that.

[22:06] But secondly,

[22:07] nobody gives a hoot

[22:08] what I eat.

[22:09] I do.

[22:10] You guys want to know

[22:11] if he eats fried food

[22:12] or red meat

[22:12] or salads.

[22:13] I want to know, right?

[22:14] Oh.

[22:21] Art Donovan was all

[22:22] last time.

[22:22] Oh, he eats his bologna.

[22:23] No.

[22:24] And he looks like

[22:25] he's 170 and you,

[22:27] you know.

[22:27] My, well,

[22:28] I'll give you the real

[22:29] answer in a minute,

[22:29] but my secret is

[22:30] the eight-day snicker diet.

[22:33] Is that right?

[22:34] No, you know what that is?

[22:35] Monday through Sunday,

[22:36] you have a lettuce,

[22:37] leave, and a tomato.

[22:38] On the eighth day,

[22:39] you eat a 48-bar package

[22:41] of Snickers.

[22:44] All right.

[22:47] The AMAs.

[22:47] Here we go.

[22:49] American Music Awards.

[22:51] Not to be confused

[22:52] with the Grammys.

[22:53] The Grammys

[22:53] have been around longer.

[22:54] They've been around

[22:55] 40-some-odd years.

[22:56] We're in our 28th or 19th.

[22:58] And you came along

[22:59] and said,

[23:00] I'm going to...

[23:00] And ripped them all.

[23:00] Well, I wasn't going to...

[23:02] That's where you're headed.

[23:03] No, no.

[23:04] You weren't going to be

[23:04] that impolite?

[23:05] No.

[23:05] You know what happened?

[23:06] You just said,

[23:07] I want to what?

[23:08] No.

[23:08] ABC lost the Grammys

[23:10] because they said

[23:10] they want to do them

[23:11] in Nashville.

[23:11] And they said,

[23:11] no way we're going to

[23:12] do that show in Nashville.

[23:13] That's right.

[23:13] They lost their bad decision.

[23:15] And so they...

[23:18] Out of a bad decision

[23:19] comes an opportunity.

[23:20] They called and said,

[23:21] can you do anything like it?

[23:22] I said, well, you know,

[23:23] you can't build

[23:24] your own academy.

[23:25] But nobody has ever

[23:26] asked the people

[23:27] who like music,

[23:28] who listen to the radio,

[23:29] buy records,

[23:30] what they like.

[23:31] So we did a popularity poll

[23:32] and hit like that.

[23:33] Yeah.

[23:33] And for years,

[23:34] we beat the Grammys,

[23:35] dragged them into

[23:36] the 20th century.

[23:37] Now the 23rd century.

[23:37] Don't you feel guilty?

[23:39] About what?

[23:40] You're a music guy.

[23:41] You love the Grammys.

[23:42] Don't you feel guilty

[23:43] that you're...

[23:43] I got a Grammy.

[23:44] I'm sure you do.

[23:46] The greatest thing

[23:47] in the world

[23:48] is to win a Grammy.

[23:49] But if you're interested

[23:50] in your public

[23:51] and you want to

[23:52] protect your pocketbook,

[23:53] you do the American Music Awards

[23:55] because you sell records.

[23:56] Yeah.

[23:56] That's why we've got

[23:57] a great lineup.

[23:58] Would you like me

[23:58] to tell you

[23:58] who's on the show?

[23:59] Yeah.

[24:00] I want to know.

[24:05] Jennifer Lopez.

[24:06] I want to know

[24:07] about Jennifer Lopez.

[24:07] Hold on to that.

[24:08] Everybody in the world

[24:09] who makes music

[24:10] these days is there.

[24:11] It's a big, big show.

[24:12] I say this unashamedly.

[24:14] But as a producer,

[24:15] I'm a little concerned

[24:17] about the opening act.

[24:18] Okay.

[24:19] Who's the opening act?

[24:20] Well, the funny thing is

[24:21] on Tuesday,

[24:22] everybody's going to talk

[24:23] about the opening act.

[24:24] But nobody's going to say

[24:25] anything about what she sang.

[24:26] They're going to say,

[24:27] did you see

[24:27] what Jennifer Lopez wore?

[24:29] What she's doing?

[24:30] That's what she wore

[24:31] last year.

[24:32] What?

[24:34] You know what?

[24:38] I know what I want her to wear.

[24:40] She's watching.

[24:41] I want you to wear

[24:41] Christina Aguilera.

[24:43] That's what I...

[24:45] We're going to take a break.

[24:46] Can we take a break?

[24:48] Back with five questions

[24:49] right after this

[24:49] with Dick Clark.

[25:01] Ed, how do you intimidate

[25:04] another player?

[25:31] What's my name?

[25:32] Shaft!

[25:34] That has never been better.

[25:36] Heard you quit.

[25:37] You think that makes me

[25:38] less dangerous?

[25:39] Now meet the man.

[25:41] Samuel L. Jackson is

[25:43] Shaft.

[25:44] Can you dig it?

[25:44] Rated R.

[25:45] Rent it today.

[25:48] Engineer Thad Stump

[25:49] wanted to give a full-size SUV

[25:51] the moves of a soccer star.

[25:54] Which is why his team

[25:55] completely re-engineered

[25:57] the suspension on the Yukon XL

[25:58] and tightened the turning radius

[26:00] to make it surprisingly agile.

[26:02] The next time you pull

[26:04] into a tight parking spot

[26:05] somewhere Thad Stump

[26:06] is thinking

[26:07] gold.

[26:17] Hot showers,

[26:18] shaving,

[26:19] cold weather

[26:19] cause not just dry skin

[26:21] but dry itchy skin.

[26:22] Only Neutrogena

[26:23] Soothing Relief Moisturizer

[26:24] has three medicated ingredients

[26:26] to bring both instant

[26:27] and lasting relief.

[26:29] Neutrogena Soothing Relief Moisturizer.

[26:30] It works.

[26:32] Now meet the new castaways

[26:33] of Survivor.

[26:34] I am Amber.

[26:36] A college graduate.

[26:37] I am Roger.

[26:39] A farmer.

[26:40] I am Alicia.

[26:42] A personal trainer.

[26:43] I am Colby.

[26:45] A custom truck builder.

[26:46] Who will be the ultimate survivor?

[26:48] Catch the premiere

[26:49] right after the Super Bowl

[26:50] on CBS.

[26:52] Remember when it was

[26:53] easy to meet people?

[26:54] You could strike up

[26:55] a conversation,

[26:56] easily impress someone,

[26:58] or share a ride.

[26:59] But now you're busy at work.

[27:00] There's chores to do

[27:02] and ooh,

[27:02] those dance lessons.

[27:04] To meet people

[27:04] the old-fashioned way,

[27:06] just call the Portland

[27:07] People Store.

[27:08] Dial up our free

[27:09] 24-hour automated voice line

[27:11] and listen to single men

[27:12] and women describe themselves.

[27:14] Discover a very private way

[27:15] to meet nice people.

[27:17] The Portland People Store.

[27:18] It could happen to you.

[27:20] But you gotta call right now.

[27:22] Banner Furniture,

[27:23] your factory direct

[27:24] Simmons dealer.

[27:25] Save on the new

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[27:37] It's our most powerful weapon

[27:39] in the war on crime.

[27:40] Coin6 News and Coin.com

[27:42] are teaming up

[27:43] with the Portland Police Bureau

[27:44] to track criminal activity

[27:45] right down to your own block.

[27:47] Pin mapping shows you

[27:48] where the criminals

[27:49] are most active

[27:50] and what you need

[27:50] to watch out for.

[27:51] Then, I'll be going

[27:52] one-on-one with Coin6 News

[27:54] to explain the trends

[27:55] and show you how we're using them

[27:56] to protect your family.

[27:57] It's our most powerful weapon

[27:59] in the war on crime.

[28:00] Coin6 News and Portland Police

[28:02] are taking your family's safety

[28:03] to a whole new level.

[28:04] Crime Trackers,

[28:06] only on Coin6 News.

[28:07] You're watching Coin,

[28:10] TV6.

[28:22] Shirley Hancock,

[28:24] only on Coin6 News.

[28:25] People make the difference.

[28:38] I always wanted to ask you,

[28:39] you've got the awards,

[28:40] the AMAs,

[28:41] it's this Tuesday night.

[28:42] Monday.

[28:42] Monday night,

[28:43] this Monday night.

[28:55] All they're going to remember

[28:56] is Snickers,

[28:57] Snickers,

[28:57] Snickers.

[28:58] I'm going to have a garage

[29:00] from the Mars Candy Company.

[29:01] There it is.

[29:02] Now,

[29:02] I want to ask you this.

[29:03] Do you get,

[29:04] I mean,

[29:05] there's got to be music

[29:06] you don't like

[29:06] and you still put them on,

[29:08] you still put the people on,

[29:09] right?

[29:09] It doesn't have anything

[29:10] to do with what I like.

[29:12] You stop the store

[29:12] with what the customers want.

[29:14] Okay,

[29:15] so you just do that,

[29:15] huh?

[29:15] You like Eminem?

[29:16] Is he going to do anything?

[29:17] Is Eminem going to be?

[29:17] Eminem to Candy?

[29:18] No.

[29:22] Don't encourage him.

[29:26] The rap,

[29:26] the Mr. Rap Rap,

[29:28] Eminem.

[29:28] Do you like rap music?

[29:29] I'll give you a straight answer.

[29:32] This is,

[29:33] I don't want to take too long.

[29:37] You've already killed that.

[29:38] You've taken this.

[29:40] Give me a straight,

[29:41] the answer's no.

[29:43] They're not looking

[29:44] for a 71-year-old white guy

[29:46] when they make that music.

[29:47] It's not designed for me.

[29:49] Ironically,

[29:50] it appeals to young boys

[29:52] going through puberty

[29:53] who are white and blacks.

[29:56] It's the poetry of the time.

[29:58] It's very offensive

[29:59] to an older ear.

[30:00] It's a mirror held up

[30:01] to the time.

[30:02] So if it bugs you,

[30:04] then change the world.

[30:06] It isn't the guy

[30:07] who's giving you the message.

[30:08] Don't kill the messenger.

[30:09] Okay.

[30:10] So that's the real answer.

[30:11] Okay.

[30:16] So,

[30:20] you've never heard Eminem

[30:21] is what I'm getting.

[30:23] You've never heard him.

[30:24] You've never listened to him.

[30:26] You've just stopped him.

[30:27] Oh, yeah.

[30:28] Huh?

[30:28] Time for five questions.

[30:35] All right,

[30:36] this is done.

[30:39] Geography,

[30:39] the category is

[30:40] capital or not a capital.

[30:43] Seattle.

[30:44] Is it a capital

[30:45] or not a capital?

[30:47] And it's a Washington,

[30:50] it's not a capital.

[30:51] That is correct.

[30:51] It's not a capital.

[30:53] Beautiful Olympia.

[30:57] True or false,

[30:58] I have a better chance

[30:59] of winning the publisher's

[31:00] clearinghouse sweepstakes

[31:01] if I order a bunch of crap.

[31:05] I didn't work for them.

[31:06] I worked for the other guys

[31:07] at one time.

[31:07] Okay.

[31:08] So that's false.

[31:09] Yeah.

[31:09] Okay.

[31:09] We'll accept that.

[31:13] Thanks.

[31:13] Thank our research department.

[31:16] Oh,

[31:17] the rare audio.

[31:18] We're going to do audio

[31:18] for a third question.

[31:20] Yeah.

[31:20] Tell me,

[31:20] is the following band

[31:21] Toto or Poco?

[31:29] Any idiot knows that.

[31:31] What is that?

[31:31] It's Toto.

[31:32] That is correct.

[31:36] Go ahead.

[31:37] Hey,

[31:38] go ahead,

[31:38] go ahead.

[31:39] What do you do?

[31:39] Any idiot

[31:40] who can read

[31:41] what's written

[31:42] on that little screen

[31:43] down there.

[31:50] Right there,

[31:51] biggest life

[31:52] is the word Toto.

[31:53] So I'm saying,

[31:53] oh,

[31:54] I'll try to figure this out.

[31:57] Cheat.

[31:58] Dick Clark

[31:59] is a cheater.

[32:00] What?

[32:05] One of my writers

[32:06] is on the same flight

[32:07] as you back from New York

[32:08] and his baby was crying.

[32:09] This is a true story.

[32:10] If it bothered you,

[32:12] let me know

[32:12] and he is

[32:13] history.

[32:14] No.

[32:15] Did not bother you?

[32:16] I didn't hear it.

[32:17] You didn't hear it.

[32:18] Dave,

[32:19] you still have a job,

[32:19] buddy.

[32:19] Congratulations.

[32:29] And finally,

[32:30] I don't,

[32:31] I know you're busy.

[32:32] Is there any way

[32:33] you can,

[32:33] you can come back later

[32:35] and introduce

[32:36] because I know you.

[32:36] Another day?

[32:37] No,

[32:37] tonight.

[32:38] Oh.

[32:39] And introduce

[32:39] in your legendary

[32:41] bandstand style

[32:42] tonight's

[32:42] band

[32:43] we have

[32:43] Lifehouse on.

[32:44] Can you come back

[32:45] and introduce them

[32:45] the way you always

[32:46] used to introduce

[32:47] bands?

[32:47] Can I,

[32:47] can I do it up

[32:48] in the,

[32:49] like I used to

[32:49] in the stands

[32:49] with the kids?

[32:50] Yes.

[32:51] These kids,

[32:51] these are kids.

[33:10] When we return,

[33:12] Tom Cavanaugh,

[33:13] the star of the hit show

[33:14] Ed is here.

[33:15] Then,

[33:16] Life and Houses

[33:17] come together

[33:17] in the music of

[33:18] Lifehouse.

[33:19] All that and more

[33:20] when we return.

[33:26] Camera please.

[33:27] Okay.

[33:28] You are a lioness.

[33:29] Very sexy,

[33:30] very sensual.

[33:31] Like a cat.

[33:32] Make love to the camera.

[33:33] Yes!

[33:33] Again!

[33:39] New camera please.

[33:41] Want a better way

[33:41] to save money?

[33:43] Dial 1-800-C-A-L-L-A-T-T

[33:45] for collect calls

[33:46] and you can save

[33:46] big bucks

[33:47] saving money.

[33:48] Not so great

[33:49] for fashion shoots.

[33:50] Maybe you should've

[33:51] used a flash.

[33:52] But great for collect calls.

[33:53] Dial 1-800-CALL-A-T-T

[33:55] for collect calls.

[33:56] Boy, I sure miss playing.

[33:58] Yeah, me too.

[33:59] Hey guys,

[34:00] you can still get

[34:00] to the Super Bowl.

[34:01] How?

[34:05] Just collect game cards,

[34:06] especially marked

[34:06] bags of Frito-Lay snacks.

[34:08] You match a play

[34:08] on the card

[34:09] to the play

[34:09] in the Super Bowl

[34:10] and you can win

[34:10] one of millions of prizes

[34:12] like Super Bowl tickets

[34:13] for life.

[34:13] The AFC,

[34:14] just kick the field goal.

[34:15] All right,

[34:16] I want a hat.

[34:17] Hey,

[34:18] no one should

[34:19] go take it for life.

[34:21] The hats are good.

[34:23] Play Frito-Lays,

[34:24] find the winning

[34:25] plays game.

[34:26] Quills has received

[34:27] two Golden Globe

[34:28] nominations.

[34:29] The work of

[34:29] the Marquis de Sars.

[34:31] Including Best Actor

[34:32] Jeffrey Rush.

[34:33] It's probably 40.

[34:34] Fiendish, son.

[34:35] Rush is

[34:36] standariously good.

[34:37] Master Shard.

[34:38] And Best Original Screenplay.

[34:40] My writing!

[34:42] The New York Times

[34:43] calls Quills

[34:44] liberating.

[34:45] Literate

[34:45] and erotic.

[34:46] The National Board of Review

[34:47] names Quills

[34:48] the best film of the year.

[34:50] Do you mean

[34:50] to take us all down

[34:51] with you?

[34:53] Quills,

[34:53] rated R.

[34:54] Now playing

[34:54] Select Cities

[34:55] coming soon everywhere.

[35:01] It's been said

[35:02] you can put a man

[35:03] on the moon,

[35:04] but you can't do anything

[35:05] about the common cold.

[35:06] Well,

[35:07] here's another giant leap

[35:07] for mankind.

[35:09] Zycam.

[35:10] In initial studies,

[35:11] Zycam reduced

[35:12] the duration

[35:12] of the common cold

[35:13] by an average

[35:14] of 71%.

[35:16] So get hold of some,

[35:18] because it can actually

[35:19] help you shorten

[35:20] your cold.

[35:22] Get Zycam,

[35:23] and get well

[35:24] sooner.

[35:26] CBS Friday,

[35:27] when you're running

[35:28] from the law,

[35:29] the last thing you need

[35:29] is a woman

[35:30] and a cop obsessed

[35:31] with her.

[35:32] I don't have time

[35:32] for this.

[35:33] You and me are going!

[35:34] All new fugitive,

[35:36] then.

[35:36] Is this casino cursed?

[35:37] Past four winners

[35:38] ended up better missing.

[35:39] Or is a killer

[35:40] on the loose?

[35:41] These look like

[35:41] defensive wounds.

[35:42] Golden Globe nominee

[35:43] for best drama,

[35:44] CSI.

[35:45] CBS Friday.

[35:46] Do not pay

[35:47] till 2002.

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[36:21] Are heroes born?

[36:23] Or are they made?

[36:25] In after-school programs,

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[36:40] Call 1-800-USA-LEARN.

[36:42] After-school programs,

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[36:47] Hi there.

[36:48] I'm Bear from Bear

[36:49] in the Big Blue House,

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[36:51] Did you know there are

[36:52] parents of kids

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[37:02] And there's a Shriners

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[37:08] call this number

[37:09] for more information.

[37:12] Shriners,

[37:12] building a better

[37:13] tomorrow for kids,

[37:14] right here in the

[37:15] Portland area.

[37:24] Welcome back.

[37:26] Don't forget later,

[37:27] Dick Clark coming back

[37:28] to introduce the band.

[37:29] We're all excited

[37:30] about that, huh?

[37:30] Yeah.

[37:34] When you talk about

[37:35] the hottest new show

[37:36] of the season,

[37:36] you talk about NBC's Ed.

[37:37] Our next guest is the man

[37:38] who brings the title

[37:39] character to life.

[37:41] If I cannot fix this pipe,

[37:43] then I will run

[37:43] through the streets

[37:44] of Stuckyville

[37:44] in only my underwear

[37:45] screaming,

[37:46] Ed Stevens is a loser.

[37:48] Are you serious?

[37:49] But, if I can fix

[37:51] this here pipe,

[37:52] then you have to go

[37:52] to the center of town,

[37:53] stand on a soapbox,

[37:54] and read a statement

[37:55] proclaiming Edward J. Stevens

[37:56] to be the best plumber

[37:57] in the world.

[37:59] Please welcome Tom Cavanaugh,

[38:00] right here.

[38:19] Good to see you.

[38:19] Nice to meet you.

[38:20] Likewise.

[38:21] Congratulations.

[38:22] Thank you very much.

[38:23] On Ed.

[38:24] Thanks.

[38:24] Do people call you Ed?

[38:25] You're Ed now.

[38:26] You're Ed.

[38:27] That's correct.

[38:28] I call it Stuckyville.

[38:29] To me, it's Stuckyville.

[38:31] Interestingly enough,

[38:31] so do I.

[38:33] The critics love it.

[38:34] They seem to.

[38:35] They should.

[38:35] We've paid them enough money.

[38:37] Yeah.

[38:37] How would I describe it?

[38:40] Quirky, in a word, right?

[38:42] Quirky is a pretty apt

[38:43] description, I would say.

[38:44] Yeah.

[38:44] Are you quirky,

[38:45] or is the show,

[38:46] or the writing?

[38:47] I'm not quirky.

[38:47] No.

[38:49] That's all the doings

[38:50] of a pair of fellows

[38:52] named Robert Nett

[38:53] and John Beckman,

[38:53] who I think you're familiar with.

[38:54] I'm familiar with them.

[38:55] They're part of the

[38:56] Worldwide Pants kingdom.

[38:57] That's right.

[38:58] They're the emperors of that.

[39:00] And they write this stuff,

[39:02] although one day

[39:03] we were drinking

[39:03] and I gave them the idea.

[39:04] Let's not talk about that.

[39:07] To me,

[39:08] they told me

[39:08] you might bring that up.

[39:09] Well, it's a northern exposure ripoff.

[39:12] Absolutely.

[39:13] Yes.

[39:13] But I call it an homage.

[39:15] Homage is nice.

[39:16] You know,

[39:16] when you try and glom

[39:17] onto the success

[39:18] of another hit show

[39:19] because you have no pride,

[39:20] homage is a great way to cover it.

[39:21] Exactly.

[39:22] Seriously,

[39:23] are you surprised

[39:23] at how well it's doing?

[39:25] I would have to say yes.

[39:27] You can say yes.

[39:28] Absolutely.

[39:29] And do you like Eminem?

[39:31] Eminem?

[39:32] I would have to say yes.

[39:34] Give me a straight answer.

[39:35] No, yes.

[39:36] Did you hear Dick Clark?

[39:38] He's like,

[39:38] do you want a straight answer?

[39:40] He was scared.

[39:41] Yes,

[39:41] we hate Eminem.

[39:42] He went five for five.

[39:45] That never happens.

[39:46] No, rarely.

[39:47] We have a set up, though.

[39:48] He will not do the show

[39:49] unless he gets five out of five.

[39:52] All right,

[39:52] tell the people

[39:53] where you grew up.

[39:55] I'm Canadian,

[39:55] grew up in Canada

[39:56] and in Africa as well.

[40:00] Africa?

[40:00] Africa, yes.

[40:01] Can I guess

[40:02] where in Africa?

[40:03] You know what?

[40:03] I would love if you guessed.

[40:05] How many guesses would you get?

[40:06] I'm only one.

[40:07] Oh, okay.

[40:08] Kenya.

[40:12] Although a good guess?

[40:14] Yeah.

[40:14] The wrong one?

[40:15] Absolutely incorrect.

[40:15] Where?

[40:16] A small country called Ghana,

[40:18] which is between the Ivory Coast

[40:19] and Ghana.

[40:19] Ghana?

[40:19] That was going to be your second guess.

[40:20] Oh, that's fancy there, huh?

[40:22] No, Mr.

[40:24] Let me see what we have.

[40:25] We have a map.

[40:26] Nice.

[40:27] I just want to...

[40:27] Don't get so excited.

[40:28] No, not at all.

[40:29] Well, it's a homeland.

[40:31] Okay, right.

[40:31] No, this is...

[40:32] I want the people to know.

[40:33] Okay, where are we?

[40:35] Where are we?

[40:36] Point.

[40:37] You're talking to me.

[40:37] Oh, I thought you were talking...

[40:39] This here, Accra,

[40:40] is the capital of Ghana.

[40:41] That's where you are?

[40:42] No, if you go 70 kilometers down,

[40:45] you...

[40:45] On the coast,

[40:46] you have a little village

[40:46] called Winneba.

[40:48] And this is the first...

[40:49] The first time that has been said

[40:49] on the air.

[40:50] Oh, yeah.

[40:51] Winneba.

[40:52] Yeah.

[40:52] Do you miss it?

[40:53] Sure, absolutely.

[40:54] Yeah, it was a great way to grow up.

[40:55] Do they get Ed over there?

[40:56] I don't know if they get TV over there.

[40:59] Okay.

[41:00] What did you do?

[41:01] What was it like?

[41:02] What would you kids do?

[41:03] You know, it was great.

[41:04] It was just a fabulous way to grow up.

[41:05] There was no television,

[41:06] no film,

[41:07] no organized sports,

[41:08] nothing.

[41:08] But we'd just run around.

[41:09] You would, you know,

[41:11] climb coconut trees,

[41:12] raid coconut trees,

[41:13] hunt for snakes in the bush.

[41:17] We did that in Boy Scouts,

[41:19] but we got thrown out of Boy Scouts

[41:20] for doing that.

[41:21] Nice.

[41:23] Wait.